How Old to Participate in Ritual? Samhain conflict!
My family recently joined the Catholic church, recently being last year. I practice Hoodoo along with this. I have also taken part in a Wiccan based Samhain ritual. I have the knowledge from both experience and some books in order to conduct a Wiccan based Samhain ritual. I know many of you will have some problem with my conducting a circle, but honestly this isn't the issue.
My husband finally feels comfortable with Paganism. We have two boys and I thought we might incorporate the Samhain circle this year. My children are five and eight. The eight year old is extremely nervous although the five year old (my good luck child) is ready to go forward with it. We can replace the ale with sparkling wine to make it age appropriate.
Given the hesitancy of my eight year old, I may throw the circle to the wind, have a bonfire with candles and incense and share thoughts with my husband.
I know I have been through the fire to even dare tread an alternative path. I do not want to push my son to participate in anything he doesn't feel comfortable doing, but I want him to know that "witches" are not something to be afraid of and that alternative paths do exist.
I feel like I need to back off completely, perhaps leaving my children with grandparents. This Samhain will be emotional for me anyway. I became pregnant within the fourty-eight hours before or after (or on) Samhain a year ago. Furthermore, I felt the sweet spirit of a friend who passed years ago. I want to feel another particular spirit...I need to...
I am excited yet I find myself at a crossroads. What are your opinions? I am open to all of them and I accept chastisement where it is due.
Blessed Be!
SullenGirl
Tags: Samhain
Views: 147
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Aletria on -
Why not consider easing your children into your new found beliefs.. it is going to take time to undo some of the things they have been taught.. this can be a frightening time for children anyway as they can't fully grasp the situation.. like connecting the dots this is a process.. you might do more harm than good if you try to force the issue so I commend you to have the wisdom to let it rest with your eldest..
Might I suggest, since this is an emotional time this year for you as well.. why not celebrate with your husband and other adults as you both become more familiar with ritual .. this way there won't be the distraction of having to worry about your children in circle on top of everything else and you can concentrate fully..
Good luck and Blessings.. enjoy the season...
Lady A
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Permalink Reply by Lady Morgen/Allergic to FLUFF! on -
Blessings
There are several books on the market that were written for Family Practice.
Family Wicca: Revised and Expanded Edition [Paperback]
Ashleen O'Gaea
(Author)
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Permalink Reply by Makoons on -
I think this all depends on your parenting philosophies. I think it's great that you don't want to pressure your child into anything that discomfits him, but a lot of people force their children to go to ceremonies or church in order to show them the values and beliefs they wish to impart. I know "force" sounds like a negative word, but honestly as parents we have to force our children to do a lot of things to ensure safety, etc.
My husband and I have had extensive talks about how we're going to handle religion/spirituality with our kids. My husband, though he adheres to a lot of the more superstitious and daily-life aspects of the Anishinaabe spirituality, would describe himself as more of an agnostic. I have traveled many religious paths, but find myself bound to Anishinaabe spirituality in a deeper way than he. While my husband wants to allow me to teach our kids the traditions of our people, he doesn't want me to close them off to outside possibilities or deny them the right to believe something else. I can agree with that whole-heartedly. However, especially as youngsters, my kids are going to do things they don't want to. They're going to go to ceremonies and sit still and be quiet and learn. If they don't choose the spirituality, it will still instill in them that elders are to be honored, and that there are times that call for their silence and obedience. However, those are values important to me.
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Permalink Reply by Andianna on -
I'd say rather than exclude your children from the ritual, how about you allow your eight your old to simply observe (rather than participate if it makes him uncomfortable), just to see how harmless it actually is. Also perhaps obtain some child friendly reading material, I know there are a few Pagan childrens books available on amazon.com. You could also perhaps ask your local book store to order them in for you if you don't want to buy online. These books are written in a language your children can understand, as opposed to reading something like Scott Cunningham lol.
Think of it as trying to educate an older person who is still fearful from what they learned growing up, but is open and willing to learn something new. Scary stories a child hears like burning in a lake of fire for not believing in one religion, can traumatize someone so young. You need to take baby steps.
If your five year old is willing to participate in your ritual, by all means include him. If your eight year old is reluctant, let him sit aside or go do something that interests him while you conduct ritual. Forcing him to do something might push him further away from your newfound beliefs, however not having the option to be included can also be a hinderance. If he chooses to watch, then decides later that he wants to be included, bring him in and help him along. Make the event fun for him...give him tasks to do, like lighting a candle, saying a prayer or chant, putting out candles, help to cast the circle, etc. This might make him more comfortable and he may look forward to future events.
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Permalink Reply by Aletria on
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These are some interesting perspectives ... and I can and do understand where the parents are coming from.. but being from the "old school" when Scott Cunningham was NOT well received within the Pagan community and for valid reasons... I will then agree to disagree...
Blessed Be..
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Permalink Reply by Andianna on
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I was just using him as an example of more geared-to-adult reading material, more widely read in the area of Wicca these days. I could have said Raymond Buckland or other author too, but his name popped into my head first :) :)
Aletria said:
These are some interesting perspectives ... and I can and do understand where the parents are coming from.. but being from the "old school" when Scott Cunningham was NOT well received within the Pagan community and for valid reasons... I will then agree to disagree...
Blessed Be..
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Permalink Reply by Aletria on
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I understand Andianna.. but I should also like to add that what is read about Wicca these days is a far cry from the Wicca of a generation ago...Wicca has been demoted to fluff whereas the original fluffy bunny term was originally coined by Wiccans a generation ago and geared towards others who wished to call themselves Wiccans but did not want to work..so they took the easy way out and threw the baby out with the bathwater..they piicked out what they wanted and if it was too difficult they got rid of it.. Cunningham was one of these people.. Wicca then became the anything goes generation.. hense those of Elder Wicca went underground.. please see Lady Morgen' s thread she is correct...)
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Permalink Reply by SullenGirl on
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Thank you all for your replies! I will take each one of them into consideration. I agree no one should be forced to do anything and the suggestion for books is A GREAT ONE because my oldest child reads avidly. Thank you for being a wonderful community and taking the time out of your lives to respond to this question.
Blessed Be!
-SG
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Permalink Reply by Lady Morgen/Allergic to FLUFF! on
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Blessings,
When i get home from work this evening, I will drop you a line with the Family Oriented books that I have on my shelves of our Temple Library. Some of them may be available as ebooks as they are a bit older.
Blessings
Morgen
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Permalink Reply by Andianna on
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I agree and understand, one of the reasons I'm not Wiccan :)
Aletria said:
I understand Andianna.. but I should also like to add that what is read about Wicca these days is a far cry from the Wicca of a generation ago...Wicca has been demoted to fluff whereas the original fluffy bunny term was originally coined by Wiccans a generation ago and geared towards others who wished to call themselves Wiccans but did not want to work..so they took the easy way out and threw the baby out with the bathwater..they piicked out what they wanted and if it was too difficult they got rid of it.. Cunningham was one of these people.. Wicca then became the anything goes generation.. hense those of Elder Wicca went underground.. please see Lady Morgen' s thread she is correct...)
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Permalink Reply by Lady Morgen/Allergic to FLUFF! on
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Blessings,
Okay, I am home now and looked int eh Library for some books that may help.
Pauline Camanelli did some wonderful books.....
here is a link to Amazon with the books listed
http://www.amazon.com/Pauline-Campanelli/e/B000APVA5Y
Margie MacArthur Wrote WiccaCraft for Families. also oriented towards family style Wicca, a good basic book with ritual, songs and recipes...
There is also a series of books that was put out by Ted Andrews as well as others on different aspects of the Craft, dreams, stars, and such, i will see if I can find the names.
this is just one of them, they are a whole series written for young people
Spirits, Ghosts, and Guardians (Young Person's School of Magic & Mystery) [Library Binding]
Ted Andrews (Author)
Also there is a book called Meditation for Children
Starbright--Meditations for Children [Paperback]
Maureen Garth (Author)
Guided Meditation for Children - Journey into the Elements
Chitra Sukhu | Format: Audio CD
This should give you a good jump on whatever you choose to do. It will also give you a more family feel to your Practice
Blessings
Morgen
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Permalink Reply by SullenGirl on
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Morgen! Thank you so much for this list! I especially like the Young Person's School of Magic and Mystery. What a great idea! I think it would make a good "Halloween" present.
Thank you!
SG
