As some folks here are aware I've been ill for about two months. Tomorrow I am scheduled to have a lung function test on the lung that's functioning correctly to see if I can live with that one alone. Depending on the results, the docs are immediately scheduling a pneomonectomy or a lobectomy on the left. During either surgery they are going to remove a rib to determine why I keep cracking them. I have broken two on either side over the course of six weeks.
So here goes...I'm scared. My wife died during a surgery a few years ago and for years I have been misdiagnosed for a variety of illnesses. I was given repeated ECT's on an outpatient basis that have led to memory problems and communication deficit. To put it simply, I don't trust doctors.
While the tests and surgery were a week away, I was fine. I thought I had resolved myself to it. Beginning last night I started to question whether or not to go through with it. As I do with just about everything, I made a list of the good and bad. I will admit that the list of reasons to go through with it is long, much longer than the reasons not to but I still keep finding myself trying to come up with an excuse not to do it.
So I guess I'm asking for help. No "there there's" or "you'll be fine" but actual ideas as to how I can get my butt to leave the house tomorrow and head for the hospital. Any help would be appreciated.