Or maybe how I get answers???
There has been something on my mind since the discovery of my high school sweetheart on FB this past Sunday. He was more than just that, we were engaged. We even went so far as purchasing wedding rings and obtaining a marriage license. Yes, at the tender age of 18yrs old. Needless to say that maybe not getting married so young was probably the best thing for both of us.
We went steady for apx. 2 yrs. When we went our separate ways, I wasn't so crushed as maybe I should have been. I think that's because I somehow seen it coming.
So now, I'm doing a lot of reflection......seeing now what I didn't see or want to see then.
I was a spoiled, childish and bossy brat to my ex boyfriend/fiancée. I think the only remedy for this was to just grow up. My domineering personality, paired with a passive and sweet guy was probably one good reason for him taking the advice of his family. To date around before settling down with his first girlfriend, being me. His family seen I was more than overbearing and they vocalized their concerns plenty because they cared. I would have probably told him the same thing if I were in their shoes.
I didn't harbor too much ill-feelings then and still don't now. I don't think he does either. After all he did show up to a lunch date with me, years after the initial break up. All that I can remember from that, being it was 15 yrs ago, was only to catch up on how things were going for the both of us and it didn't end up being a disaster, however this was the last time seeing him.
Well that was until this Sunday.
Now, I'm debating to contact him or not. To drop a line saying Hi and asking him how things have been after all this time. I mean, we did get quite serious with one another. Then on the other hand, I feel that maybe I should leave well enough alone.
Of course by now, I am wanting and seeking guidance and in trying to be very honest with myself and my intentions, I started to ask myself such questions like: What would be the point? and If I could only say one last thing to him what would that be if he never responded back? and To whom that would really benefit me or him?
Well, if there was one last thing I could say to him it would be all the above and I honestly felt the cards could fall either way as far as my admittance of err would be beneficial for him or not. This I simply did not know.
So all day yesterday, until I crawled into bed. I mentally rehearsed what I would write to him. Thinking also it might be good to consult some form of divination, to help determine how I should proceed.
Well, I think I got an answer, this morning waking up. This song (the chorus) was in my head. Btw, I don't listen to the radio, wasn't awoken by a radio alarm, and didn't even have a clue that it was Timbaland who sang this song until I looked it up. Which goes to show how much I'm up to speed on things. So this I know, was way out in left field for me. Is it a coincidence that I was seeking an answer if it would be good to contact (and apologize) to my Ex or not and this song was placed in my mind?
This also falls in line how I usually get answers when I am wanting to know something (in my dreams, upon waking, random songs stuck in my head) I think in this case, this is a very clear message. I should leave well enough alone and chock this up as coming about as a much needed reflection for me.
So I leave this post with what I learned.
Ladies treat you man as sweet as candy, if not, you may be pushing them into the arms of another girl who does.
Same goes for the men.
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