RealPagan- Paganism for the Real World

~The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.~ Socrates

   Many of us live our lives trying to please other people or live up to their expectations and in the end we seem to fall short. What does it serve us to live in this manner, but to create self-doubt and disappointment? Remember: ~We don't get to control our reputation; we only get to shape our character~ 

   Ask yourself this today, are you focusing too much on what other's expectations of you may be? Are you concerned too easily with their judgment of you? If you are then shift your focus to what you think and feel about yourself. Are you someone you can be proud of?




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Heather Lennartz Comment by Heather Lennartz on January 18, 2011 at 3:42pm
I have always lived by these words BE TRUE TO YOURSELF NO ONE ELSE WILL.I have spent my life having people tell me how to dress,eat,talk,etc and that wast even family just school kids,co workers, so called friends.I was raised to be free thinking and be my own person do my own stlye and the rest of the world would take care of its self.If you dont truely love yourself and are being yourself how are you going to love anyone else,spouse,kids,friends etc.!!!!!This world is full of fellows people need to be leaders meaning fellow your ow drum do what makes you happy why do we have to please others for them to like us? No if they were truley your friend they would take you as you are faults,god or bad.There are some people who have to control and if you dont change they turn on you they are no friends I myself have learned the hard way of being JUST ME.I have lost friends but not for anything Ive done wrong ,not want to be the cookie cutter type person is not me never has been and people cant learn to just let others be ,this world would be a much better place if people truley were allowed to be who they wanted without the issues of rumors,two faced friends,job loss,etc some people just dont know whe to say when!!!
Jennifer Renee Comment by Jennifer Renee on January 17, 2011 at 6:18pm

Megan, growing up I was always considered the perfect 'good girl' by everyone and I always strove to be what everyone thought I should be...when I turned 18 I just let go and got a little wild for a time just trying to assert my independence, but eventually got back into that mode of pleasing everyone else as I got older during my young marriage and young mommy days, my kids are nearly all grown and it is not until I hit 40 that I finally came to the realization that I was living for everyone else but me and accepting their idea of what I should be...mind you, my husband always encouraged me to be whatever I wanted to be, but I had a tendency to put these strictures on myself...well NO MORE!! 


~You have only one life to live, and the only person who can find YOUR path that will make YOU happiest and most fulfilled is YOU!~


Your beautiful quote above says it all:))))

Megan Herrod Comment by Megan Herrod on January 17, 2011 at 6:02pm

I know that as a teen and young adult I put a lot of stock into other peoples expectations of me- good and bad. In early highschool I felt like people perceived me to be a "bad girl" and so rather than fighting it I did everything to prove that they were right. When I finally decided I wanted to not always feel like a "victim of society" I went the other direction and got straight A's and scholarships galore. When my parents saw me succeeding they encouraged me, but there was a strong emphasis about how I needed to be "successful" (specifically financially and educationally). I spent two years in college and I was a perfect student, boasting nearly straight A's. During that time my parents got a divorce and I was trying to make my new marriage "work". I felt like there was a void in my life and I just COULDN'T find inner happiness even though everythingf was going "right" in my life... also my parents divorce made me reflect on why we (people) live in unhappy circumstances for so long when we have the power to change. I remember an "ah-ha" momentr when I was in counceling and I said - "if it were all up to me and what I want, I probably wouldn't be here in college... i would just go try to become a mom... I don't want a ton of money I just want to be happy!" My councelor (paid by the college) said "Well, why don't you- it IS up to you!"


That was my last semester of college. You have only one life to live, and the only person who can find YOUR path that will make YOU happiest and most fulfilled is YOU!


Thanks Jennifer, great Post! Namaste!


Katarina Ana Comment by Katarina Ana on January 17, 2011 at 5:41pm
This message is a poignant one for me to think about at this time.Im done pleaseing everyone else.I have tried to please everyone but myself.NO MORE!I need to be happy before I can make anyone else happy.The happyness of others is not my responsibility,my own happyness Is my responsibility. Ill just have to fight going over to the darkside and becomeing to selfish and narsasistic.LOL Balance would be to strive for.
Chris Comment by Chris on January 17, 2011 at 4:18pm
Thanks for posting this it speaks to me in this way, I have always been one to live up to other people's expectations of me, and not focusing on myself.

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