Aislynn's Posts - RealPagan- Paganism for the Real World

The dilemma with my mother

2012-03-22T03:17:14.000Z

I need help! In order to ask a lot of you for input, however, you need the background info. So, please forgive the story time here.

I came out of both closets to my mom when I was a teenager. As with a lot of coming out stories, it took multiple attempts because my mom continuously thought it was a phase I'd grow out of. Now, however, she understand that I'm truly a lesbian (but doesn't like it) and sees Paganism as something crazy I do to get under her skin and not a true religious choice on my part. On top of that, she's become much more...Christian since moving back south. She attends church every week and has become much more political because of her religious views. So, she has the fear that if I keep going down the Pagan path, I'll go to hell and she might as well for failing to raise a good Catholic daughter and, instead, leading me to a life of sin.

Having her live 15 hours away has been great for our relationship. We talk less regularly, which means we fight less regularly. Rarely do either of us bring up religion or relationships because we know it's a sore spot, and we both want to avoid an argument when neither of us is really going to change (sometimes this involves me lying and saying I'm going to "craft fairs" that are really Pagan rituals, "to movies with friends" that are really Pagan discussion groups, and so on). So, my mom has no idea that I teach DRW, vlog, have a Pagan site, study and practice regularly, take classes at Ardantane, am working on attending Cherry Hill, and one day want to become clergy. Everyone else in my family knows at least the majority of those things, even my father, and they're all fine. It's just my mom.

I'm not posting here to whine about how horrible this is or to get advice on the larger situation, really. There's a very specific situation right now.

My mom is coming into town on Saturday. She just told us she'd be coming to visit yesterday, so we haven't had time to prepare. Usually, she'd stay at my sister's, but with two kids, it's gotten a little crowded there and my entire family fights with my brother-in-law. After a big blow-up at Christmas, my mom vowed never to stay at my sister's ever again to keep their relationship civil. So, now she's planning to stay with me and Brae whenever she comes into town from now on since we have more room and we fight...less than she does with my brother-in-law.

She arrives on Saturday and leaves on Good Friday, and she'll be coming and going as she pleases from our apartment.

On Tuesday from 9-11pm I have a class with Ardantane via conference call.

Dun dun dun!

What should I do? Lie? If I lie and say, for example, I'm going out with friends, she might come home and find me sitting alone on the phone in class.

Tell her the truth? If I do, she might either leave angry or stay in icy silence or with angry, snide remarks for the rest of the week.

Actually make up an excuse? I could tell her I'm going to a friend's, have them pick me up, make the conference call over there, and then come home so she won't know, but is that too much?

I do want to tell my mom, not because I think she really needs to know or that it would improve our relationship but because I hate lying. It's getting harder and harder for me to do it, and I often wonder if she knows and is thinking something far worse is going on.

So, for those of you who have made it through all that, what would you do?

Keeping Christ In Our Holiday

2011-11-30T19:49:22.000Z

As I sit here with my hot cocoa listening to Christmas music during the break in my Christmas movie marathon, I find myself more irritated than usual about my common holiday gripes. I have two main scrooge moments throughout the holiday season that I typically keep quiet because so many of the people I know are on the other sides of the issues. This year, however, I'm granting myself a ranting session.

1. "Those mean Christians stole our holiday!"

Yes, this is from "my folks" -- the Pagans. Every one of our major holidays is marred by some stupid "historic" debate that casts Christians in the role of villain, and I'm tired of it! They moan about religious persecution, but they turn around and vilify Christians whenever they get the chance. For example, Samhain (which is much like the Halloween many of you know) is marred with "Never Again The Burning Times!" which is a false theory that says over a million actual witches were murdered during the witch hunts throughout the world. First of all, these women were, for the most part, Christians who were at the wrong end of disputes in their villages and the actual number is FAR under one million.

Yule/Christmas comes along and we hear the argument that Christians "stole" our holidays from us. Let me begin by saying that I didn't know they could be "stolen" from us. Is there a limit to how many people can decorate a tree, burn a Yule log, hang wreaths and mistletoe, celebrate a male deity being born, await the arrival of an elderly man (Santa/The Holly King), sing carols, feast, etc? In addition, the idea that our holidays have been stolen is absurd! Yes, church officials moved the celebration of Christ's birth to the winter (even though scholars believe he was actually born in spring or summer) because ancient Pagans already had their own celebrations at that time. They adopted many of the Pagan customs for their Christmas celebrations because it was easier for Pagans to accept Christianity if it was similar to what they had celebrated before, the church knew that they couldn't stamp out the deeply-loved customs, and they probably seemed fun. If, however, you claim these are stolen, I urge you to look at your own spiritual beliefs and practices. Most modern Pagans (with the possible exception of Reconstructionists) borrow form a variety of other cultures, often tailoring these beliefs and practices to suit their needs. Is this not the same thing the early church did with the ancient Pagans' practices at the holidays? How can you condemn one act of religious syncretism and still take part in this practice you so disdain? Learn to share like we did in kindergarten, and realize that the celebration of our holidays may be similar but that doesn't mean they're exactly the same nor does it take anything away from your celebration to share it.

2. "Keep Christ in Christmas"

Yep, this one is for the Christians who feel there's some sort of war on Christmas. There isn't. When soldiers break into your home, steal your Bible, break your presents, tear down your tree and manger, forbid you from going to church or teaching your children about Christmas, and ban all celebrations related to Christmas, then you may declare that there is a war on your holiday.

I'm sorry. I know that Jesus is the whole reason behind the Christian celebration of Christmas, but does someone saying "Happy Holidays" to you in a shop really affect your celebration of this Christian holiday? Does that simple greeting remove any lingering thoughts you had about Jesus at Christmas? Does it prevent you from enjoying this Christian holy day and celebrating the religious side of the holiday? No. Then again, I don't think someone greeting me with "Merry Christmas" affects my religious observance of Yule either, but some might feel as if Christianity was being forced upon them if someone wished them a "Merry Christmas". Using "Happy Holidays" instead covers the business's butt in case someone tried to sue for religious persecution or something (which, even if it saddens you, you must know is very likely). "Happy Holidays" is all-inclusive. It covers Ramadan, Chanukah, Kwanza, Yule, the humanist holiday, and, yes, Christmas too. It shows minority religions that we are valued and accepted. So, how is using it a war on Christmas? If they decided to wish everyone a Merry RamaChanaYuleza, then you can be offended that Christmas wasn't included. It is a holiday (a holy-day, if you prefer), so it's included. This simple greeting doesn't show that it's less important or celebrated. There is no war on Christmas.

Christ *is* still in Christmas. He's there in your church, in your family's celebration, in your constructing a manger scene in your home, in your child's blowing out the candles on Jesus' birthday cake, in your reading the story of the nativity to your family, etc. That's what Christmas is, and it is up to you to keep it alive. Christmas has never been about putting up a manger scene on public property, being wished a "Merry Christmas" in every store you enter, etc. If it is, I'd love someone to point out the Bible verses that claim this.

A religious majority cannot claim persecution. I'm sorry.

On a related note, those that claim "X-mas" takes Christ out of Christmas need to do some research before posting/discussing it publicly and sounding ill-informed. X is the Greek letter meaning "Chi" which is the first letter of "Christ". So, Xmas is a shortening of Christmas, not a means of removing "Christ" from the word.

So, as this graphic implies, why don't we all just stop complaining about who is ruining our holiday, who is infringing upon our rights, and fighting against an imagined enemy this holiday season and just celebrate? When did the holiday season become more about complaining than about all the warm fuzzies, the spirit of giving, religious observance, and family that all the songs and movies tell us about?

Happy Holidays!

What Might Be My Last Plea For Help

2011-07-27T03:01:03.000Z

I've posted here and talked a bit on my youtube channel about my HUGE project that I've been working on. I revealed on YT a few months ago that this website is about ritual, and that I really needed help. Well, that is still very much true.

You see, I've given myself a deadline that I need to actually meet which is in 32 days. I'm presenting at my local Pagan Pride Day this year (the workshop will hopefully be able to be filmed if I can work it out so that just I am on camera so as not to out anyone), and the workshop is a very...unique take on ritual. For that, I'd love to give the participants the best resources I know of on ritual. That means the link to my website...which is impossible if it's not up.

So, here's the plea for help. I've asked in the past for people to write very involved, lengthy, and somewhat "advanced" articles on ritual. I'd still love that, but I'm getting the idea that no one wants to do that or feels they don't know enough or have the right resources to be of help there and/or B) the people who feel they can do that are entirely too busy with other things. So, if you want to help out, I can easily send you a list of articles we need to be completed all on components of ritual, many of which I've already made a list of notes I want to be included in the article.

However, I also now need extra proofreaders and, for lack of a better word, betas. I hope to have the main website up (if not fully functional) by the end of the week, and I'll be adding articles to it as they are proofread and completed. Obviously the proofreaders' job is pretty well laid out. The "betas" I just want to kind of peruse the site, see if we have covered enough information on each subject and suggest topics that we might want to cover, check to see if links are functional, see if the proofreaders caught everything, make other suggestions for content, etc.

I think that's it. So, to recap, I'd love authors for the articles on ritual and I NEED betas and proofreaders. I'd, as usual, prefer people versed in Wicca and/or DRW who have had a bit of time to study and are fairly versed in ritual practice and theory.

Both the main site and the current sort of construction site are wordpress, so you will need a wordpress account to be able to access them because they will be both be set to private until they are finished.

I know some people here offered help when I originally posted, but I wasn't sure if that offer was still good since so much time has passed. If you are interested in helping, just post a reply or send me a message with your email address for your wordpress account if you want to proofread or write articles and your wordpress handle if you want to be a beta.

I Understand Her

2011-06-22T16:42:31.000Z

There's this High Priestess that sort of infamous locally. I've talked about her a bit in my videos in the past because I had a bit of a run-in with her when I first started out. She didn't like me, and I was never really sure why. I'm still not sure, to be honest, but I thought it was because I was working so prominently in the community she started. I thought, given what others had said about her being power-hungry, somewhat crazy, mean-spirited, and all that, that she saw me as a threat to the stronghold she had on our local Pagan community.

I've apparently set the rumor mill a-turning this past year with some (at the time) minor disputes in my study circle. I was called "power hungry" when I was asked to be the leader of the group that I started and didn't want to necessarily lead and, finally, accepted. I was called a female dog when I had to ask people to leave for not following group procedure. I was called an elitist when I declined certain people membership because they couldn't commit to a study circle. I was called big-headed when I proposed the start of a new study circle in our area. I was called crazy when they saw that I was only 22 at the start of the study circle. I was called a hypocrite when I became angry for other groups trying to steal our members right from under us. I was called fluffy when I wouldn't adhere to a coven structure I felt was unnecessary for a study circle. I was called impractical when I wouldn't bend on membership requirements. I was called hard-headed when I wouldn't give up on the study circle after we lost several members. I was called mean-spirited when I tried to maintain a healthy group spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically.

Am I her? Am I that High Priestess who just wants to help when almost everyone around them cannot see it? Or am I all those things? Is she?

Looking back on what has transpired over the past year for me, I can sort of say that I understand her. While some or all of the things that are spread about her might be true, she seems impervious to all of it. That's honestly something I need right now. I also need her drive to do what she knows is best for the Pagan community, because right now I'm so utterly burned out and even more jaded than I was going into leading a group that I'm just...done.

I was honestly on the fence about what to do when I started writing this post. However, halfway through, I realized that I am finished. I'm stepping back in my local community. My work online (the website, videos, RP) is more beneficial than helping out a community so utterly riddled with people intent on hating any outsider. I mean, our "community" (and I've been using the term VERY loosely) is so messed up anyway, I see no real way to fix it, but I just posted articles about that recently anyway...So, I'm stepping back from that and planning on just keeping my mini-circle of very close friends that I feel comfortable practicing with, my students, and that's it.

I feel like the study circle has run its course. I did start it to learn about the group dynamic outside of college. Silly me, I thought a lack of interest that spanned five seconds, commitment, and focus were college problems! Drama too! How naive was I? So, now I know what to expect, and if I decide to start another study circle, it won't be for a long time until I can figure out a way to do so which circumvents a lot of the problems this one had.

And this will leave me free to continue my search for a teacher and/or a coven once more.

I'm Going Insane!

2011-02-18T05:00:00.000Z

I don't know what the heck I was thinking when I turned to Brae that night and said, "I know what would be awesome, let's create the most extensive resource out there on *bleep*!" (he's sworn me to secrecy because he's sure that someone out there in cyberland will swoop in and steal our idea, though I doubt there are that many people out there who would 1. do that and 2. be able to do it as well as we are).

Now about five or six months into this (it's all run together in the craziness of working on this, my vlog, my podcast, DRW, the study circle, and Gods know what other irons I have in the fire that I'm neglecting to mention here), we've finished (are you ready for this?) 12 sections...of about 127. My goal is to post the website online after I've finished about 85 sections so that it has the main meat of it. *dies* So far I've done everything by myself too, so that's been fun.

Oh, and to give you an idea, each section takes anywhere between 1 1/2 hours to 10 or more to complete!

Are we crazy? Yes. Will it be worth it? I sure as heck hope so. I can't wait to see all your little faces when it's complete. *imagines the "OMG"s, "You're full of win"s, and so on that she'll receive that beautiful day...in 2020 when the website is posted*

So, what can you guys do that will make my job immensely easier? Well, honestly, not a lot since Brae's got me all oath bound *imagines the look on his face if he read that*.

BUT

If you could do either or both of the following, I'd love you and give you infinite cookies:

1. Collect all your Pagan-related links and send them to me with a short description (one sentence) of what they are and what category they fall into (my categories for links are blogs, vlogs, supplies, podcasts, informational, social networking, misc., and local resources like witchvox, meetup, etc.). I have a lot of the basic ones (Wild Hunt, Witchvox, RP, Amber and Jet, Wicca for the Rest of Us, About Pagan/Wiccan, Religious Tolerance, E-Cauldron, etc.)

2. Point me in the direction of somewhere I can learn about geeklog and/or help me learn it.

If anyone has oodles of time on their hands and wants to help with the most epic informational DRW/Wiccan-related website there ever shall be, let me know and I shall talk to Brae. If we know you and such, once I impress upon him the ungodly amount of time this website is going to take, he might let me bring in a few people. Know that we'd need you to write, add to, and proofread in-depth articles on materials that go beyond 101 and will draw on real-life community experience.

Anyway, if you're wondering why I've fallen off the face of the earth, this is pretty much why as of late. I did warn a lot of you that I'd be disappearing. I wasn't wrong.

And now I'm off to walk around for a bit if my legs will allow it after sitting at the computer for eight hours straight.

Magic, the will, and the suspension of disbelief

2011-01-23T09:30:37.000Z

I've often said that I believe magic to be more than a mere placebo effect. Since that is the case, it might seem odd to some of you that I'm writing a blog entry about the "suspension of disbelief" and its place in magic and ritual work, but keep reading and it should begin to make sense.

When we start out, it may seem odd to many of us that by the mere power of our will we can effect change in ourselves, our surroundings, and the world. This, I believe, is mainly because many of us grow up learning to doubt our own power and ourselves. Learning to cultivate our own power and trust ourselves is a major step in beginning to work magic because of this. Take a look at any work on affirmations, and you'll begin to understand. This is pretty darn on par with that.

What is an affirmation? It's the act of telling ourselves something in order to stress belief in it. This ranges, in ritual, from taking time out to remind us that the circle has been cast, that it's between the worlds, that we are God/dess, that our will can effect change, etc.

And what do we do when training ourselves for ritual and magical work? Often we'll do something so often that it becomes real to us. This can include casting a circle, calling the quarters, or any energy manipulation. I think the similarities are clear here.

Does this mean that this psychological work points to our magical and ritual work all being a sham? Are we really just fooling ourselves that we can manipulate energy to form a circle and all that?

No.

There's a common quote: "fake it until you make it". Until we can fully convince ourselves that we are casting a circle (for example), we must try to continue the practice until it is so. From this repetition, the act is cemented in our view of ritual and becomes more real. Again, this isn't to put ourselves into a state of denial about what we can and cannot do. It is merely a tool to reinforce our actions, to give us aid in trusting ourselves, and so on.

Let's put this in mundane terms. Let's say I don't believe I can run a marathon. I can't. Because I don't believe in my ability to do it, I've already defeated myself. If I begin telling myself every morning that I can and training myself to do it, eventually (barring any physical impairments) I will be able to do it. It's the same thing in magical work. Trust in ourselves is key.

So until we have reached the point where we believe entirely in the existence of the circle (again, I'm working with that as an example), we do all we can to promote the suspension of disbelief (a literary term meaning that we suspend judgement in cases of things that are normally implausible). This is why we do all we can to promote the separate-ness of the circle, doing things we normally don't there (i.e. covering and/or removing all reminders of time, putting up a physical barrier from the mundane world, not using any modern or man-made objects, or whatever it is you do that sets it aside).

I started thinking about this when writing an article (the details of which I cannot discuss because it is for my website that's still in secret mode at Brae's request), and I know it's a little scattered (mainly because it's 4:30am here). I just thought I'd throw it out there because there's apparently a few people who have questioned these practices.

Just FYI

2010-11-18T03:15:25.000Z

I'm going to be gone for a bit while I visit family for Thanksgiving. I'm leaving Friday and will return in about a week or so. I might get online, but I can't be sure I'll be able to get on RP during that time as I'll be at my parents' house.

I know I haven't been on much, and I hope to fix that when I return. There's still a lot of stuff I want to add here, so you should be seeing me more. I miss you guys, even though I've technically been on a bit the past few days. I've just been trying to finish writing rituals, buying some gifts, finishing up make up lessons, and working out some group drama with the study circle before I leave so I haven't had as much time to be in chat or post and such. But I'll see you all in a bit!

True Women's Spirituality: Dianic Wicca and Goddess Worship

2010-11-06T22:12:04.000Z

I've talked about this paper on WT before, and I think I even posted it somewhere, but I thought it deserved a repost. I wrote it a year or so ago for a Women's Studies course during my senior year of college. I hope you enjoy and that it answers a few questions while raising some more.

It is common knowledge that women have been cast down by the dominant religions of our time. Islam, Christianity, and Judaism all contain passages within their sacred texts that either show women as property, as less than men, or portray them as vile creatures that tempt men to the ways of evil. Because of this, women's spirituality has suffered under these monotheistic religions. Women are not given equal status in terms of religious hierarchy, they are not allowed to study religion at all, and/or they are forced into subservience based only on religious texts.

The only divine role model women have holds a position that is unattainable. The Virgin Mary, part of the Christian pantheon, is simultaneously pure and a mother, the two roles the monotheistic institutions wish to for women to hold. As the only feminine part of that pantheon, women have no one else to look to for guidance. Outside of polytheism, women are forced to strive for the elusive roles men and religion force upon them.

But there was a time before Christianity, before monotheism, that women had other divine role models to look to. Goddess worship was prevalent in much of Europe and in many other Pagan cultures of ancient times (Adler 42). Though these Goddesses were not the sole deities worshipped, they did provide women a divine source of power, a chance to see into their own divinity and be proud of who they were. These deities were strong, often without relying on men, as in the case of Diana of the Roman pantheon (Adler 121). There were Goddesses of childbirth, which gave women an opportunity to see this human act as something anointed (a viewpoint that would greatly change upon the adoption of Abrahamic faiths), along with Goddesses of hearth and home as in Brigid of the Celts, who gave women a chance to see their daily routines and duties as vital to thecommunity, and many more (Adler 20).

It is no surprise that, given the harsh climate within the Judeo-Christian world for women, that Goddess worship regained a following. It provided a freedom women never experienced within the strict set of guidelines imposed on them by the church. It also provided a sense of respect for women within the Pagan community that was clearly lacking within the church. Through this resurgence in interest in the Old Ways, a new tradition was formed—Dianic Witchcraft (Adler 121).

Dianic Witchcraft is a tradition of Paganism that “maintains its links with ancient matriarchies in terms of myth and power” (Adler 122). Groups of these practitioners (called covens) worship a Goddess in a monotheistic fashion, though sometimes more than one Goddess is acknowledged as in the case of a Dianic coven that follows the Welsh Celtic pantheon and worships Ceridwen, Rhiannon, Arianrhod, Branwen, and Blodewedd (Sisterhood of Avalon). Dianics see the Goddess in three aspects—“Maiden-Creatrix, Great Mother, and Old Crone”, following the female life cycle of virgin, mother, and wise woman (Adler 122). In this cycle, the Goddess does, sometimes, take a male consort, but he is seen as less than herself, the giver of life (Adler 123).

Historically, Dianic Witches have seen Wicca as a “'womin's religion'. Men are excluded” from their practice (Adler 121). It is becoming more common, though, for some Dianic covens to accept male members (Starhawk 108). This began to change

when another stream of Dianic Witchcraft became popular in the early 1980s. Morgan McFarland started a small sect of Dianic Witchcraft that is similar to its predecessor, but it acknowledges and, sometimes, worships male deities. She claimed that, “within the circle [the temple within whichwitches practice] all are equal despite the 'feminist' edge” (Adler 123) despite the fact that men could not participate in the greater rites of the coven.

The use of the word “witchcraft” above should be noted. Often the tradition in question is termed “Dianic Wicca”, but there is a growing debate within the Wiccan community if the Dianic tradition could be correctly included in the religion of

Wicca. To understand why, one must understand what Wicca is. Wicca can be defined as an earth-based religion that concerns itself with balance in nature, the divine, and in oneself (Starhawk 41). Based on this definition, one lacking in details but accurate nonetheless, it is easy to see why some Wiccans would not consider Dianic Witches to be Wiccan. The majority of Dianic Witches place either greater or all emphasis on the Goddess(es) and little to none on the God(s). This would upset the balance within the divine in some Wiccans eyes. Though most Dianic Witches claim the patriarchal influence in our mundane world counteracts any unbalance, this is difficult for many Wiccans from other traditions to accept (Adler 122).

So why do Dianic Witches consider themselves to be Wiccan? According to

Kristine Jarvis:

Wicca differs from the larger monotheistic religions in its attitude towards women and in its eclecticism and egalitarianism...Wicca is a nature religion that...respects male andprinciples and worships a god and a goddess, although in many forms of Wicca theappears to be dominant and is occasionally the sole deity. Women’s physicality is in contrast to the more equivocal attitudes towards the female body found in monotheistic religions. In its current form, then, it is compatible with a great many liberal, perspectives—particularly feminism and the Green movement.

This definition of Wicca clearly has the Dianic tradition in mind with its inclusion of the Goddess as the sole deity. From this, we can clearly see why Dianic Witches would see fit to include themselves in the Wiccan religion. Wicca's value of women, the female form, and the Goddess would fit into its core beliefs.

It is easy to see how feminists would feel at home in a religion geared toward the strength of the feminine, the beauty of being a woman, and the freedom and sacredness of sexuality. As Starhawk says, “the feminist movement is a magicospiritual movement. It is spiritual because it addresses the liberation of the human spirit, to healing our fragmentation, to becoming whole. It is magical because it changes consciousness, it expands our awareness and gives us new vision” (Starhawk 225). Dianic Witchcraft simply takes this explanation and expounds upon it, bringing the spirituality of the feminist movement into the forefront. It addresses personal responsibility and teaching in a religion with no gurus and no messiahs as feminism demands responsibility for changing our culture. It encourages women to be proud of who they are, as is one of the main tenets of feminism. Finally, it insists that we not stand idly by and allow our world to be shaped by others but that we take an active role in bringing about the changes we desire through strength of will.

Wicca and, especially, Dianic Witchcraft have always been outside the mainstream. Jennie Klein provides insight to this in her article “ Goddess: Feminist Art and Spirituality in the 1970s”; “other gender movements once considered radical, such as feminism or gay rights, feminist spirituality has always remained on the margins of mainstream culture and academic acceptability. To this day, the nature Goddess/witch figure is depicted as monstrous, abject, and horrific.” She goes on to say that it is understandable that this form of spirituality is threatening to our Judeo-Christian society which remains firmly based in patriarchy. However, “what remains less understandable is the degree to which feminist spirituality--particularly Goddess feminism—which feminist spirituality--particularly Goddess feminism--was almost more troubling to feminist critics and academics than it was to the male avant-garde” (Klein). So, even within the world of feminism, Dianic Witches face criticism. It seems they cannot fit into any community, the feminists, the Wiccans, or the mainstream.

Works Cited

Adler, Margot. Drawing Down the Moon: Witches, Druids, Goddess Worshippers, and Other Pagans in America Today. Revised and Expanded. New York, NY: Penguin Compass, 1986. 121-25. Print.

Jarvis, Kristine. "Becoming a Woman through Wicca: Witches and Wiccans in Contemporary Teen Fiction." Children's Literature in Education 39.1 (2008): 43-52. Web. 26 Feb 2010. a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10583-007-9058-0%3E">http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10583-007-9058-0>;;.

Klein, Jennie. "Goddess: Feminist Art and Spirituality in the 1970s." Feminist Studies 35.3 (2009): n. pag. Web. 26 Feb 2010. a href="http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?">http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=aph&AN=47191497&site=ehost-live>.

Starhawk, . The Spiral Dance: A Rebirth of the Ancient Religion of the Great Goddess. 20th Anniversary. New York, NY: Harper One, 1999. Print.

"What We Believe: The Goddesses." The Sisterhood of Avalon. 2008. The Sisterhood of Avalon, Web. 28 Feb 2010. /span>http://www.sisterhoodofavalon.org/SOA %20Website/1-the-goddesses.htm>.

Using "Wicca" and "Pagan"

2010-11-06T22:09:39.000Z

How do I know if I'm using the word "Wicca" correctly?

Here's a trick, to check your grammatical use of the word "Wicca" replace it with another religion's name, and see if it still makes sense.

For example: "I'm a Wicca" = "I'm a Christianity"

"I'm a Wiccan" = "I'm a Christian"

"I want to learn how to do Wicca" = "I want to learn how to do Christianity"

"Someone did Wicca on me" = "Someone did Christianity on me"

The only case this doesn't apply is when "Wicca" has an alternate spelling (i.e. "of the Wica"). That is grammatically correct.

Please also note that the religion is called "WICCA". That's it. It's not "Wiccanism", "Wiccanity", or any other smashing up of the word "Wicca" and random endings that you might find in other religion's names.

Another case in which to do this that isn't specifically related to grammar is when you're speaking about your past in Wicca. For example:

"I inherited Wicca from my mother" = "I inherited Christianity from my mother".

You can say you learned it from her, but it doesn't make much sense to say you inherited a religion from someone else. Also, if you're talking about inheriting magical items from her, then say that. "I inherited my mother's Book of Shadows" makes you sound much more reputable than "I inherited Wicca from her". That just brings up memories of people who want to sound special so they say they've inherited all sorts of magical power that us mere mortals can only dream of from their Wiccan ancestors.

This is the same when people claim to be "blood witches". There's no such thing. Would you say you're more gifted at being Christian just because your family was Christian? Probably not. You may have learned more quickly and easily than others, but that's where the privilege stops.

I didn't think the terms "Paganism" and "Pagan" were as much of an issue as "Wicca" and "WIccan", but I'll post about that one too because I've seen it misused around the site recently.

"I am Pagan" = "I am Christian"

"I believe in Paganism" = "I believe in Christianity"

And, yes, it's P-A-G-A-N, not "Pegan" or "Pagen".

Fun with Acronyms and Grammar

2010-11-06T22:00:00.000Z

PART ONE

If you spend any time online here at WT or on any Pagan site, you're bound to encounter some acronyms that you may not be familiar with. The first part of this blog post is all about that. It might help some of you a great deal. Some of them are more common than others.

BB=Blessed be

BC=Broom closet

BTW=British Traditional Wicca (if it's lower case, it will refer to "by the way" like it usually does)

C&A=cakes and ale

COG=Covenant of the Goddess

CTC=Casting the Circle

DDtM=Drawing Down the Moon

DRW=Dedicatory Religious Witchcraft

FNDY=Fundamentalist Christian

HP(s)=High Priest(s)

HPS/HPess=High Priestess

MM=Merry Meet

MP=Merry Part

NP=NeoPagan

NW=Neo-Wicca(n)

TFL=Threefold Law

TIW=Traditional Initiatory Witchcraft

TSD=The Spiral Dance

WR=Wiccan Rede

PART TWO

Also if you spend time online, you'll notice people react differently to you when you use incorrect grammar/spelling, so here's a few clarifications for you before you go out and post:

Pagan=a follower of a Pagan (or Neo-Pagan depending on the context) path

Pegan=not a word

Pagen=also not a word

Altar=a tool/place where people set up shrines, conduct ritual, do daily devotions, etc.

Alter=a verb that means to cause change to something

Rose's=an item that belongs to Rose (possessive)

Roses=(plural) a number of roses (i.e. 4 roses)

There=a word describing location (i.e. The bottle is over there)

Their=an object belonging to them (possessive: i.e. Their bat is on the bench)

They're=a contraction meaning "They are" (i.e. They're going to play baseball)

Your=a possessive word meaning that something belongs to you (i.e. Is this your brush)

You're=a contraction meaning "You are" (i.e. You're very pretty)

Its=a possessive word meaning something belonging to it (i.e. The dog wagged its tail)

It's=a contraction meaning "It is" (i.e. It's very hot out today)

Affect=a verb meaning to change something (i.e. Your experiment affected me greatly)

Effect=a noun meaning a change in something (i.e. That crash had great emotional effects on her)

Oh, I am so sure there is much more to add to this post. I'm going to update as things strike me. If anyone has any additions, please post them below!

Magic and the Story of the Troublesome "K"

2010-11-06T22:00:00.000Z

We've all see books with titles like "True Magick". We've read authors that seemed determined to convince us that "magic" and "magick" were completely different things. We've seen people insist that they weren't. Perhaps we didn't understand. Here I'll explain just want the difference between "magick" and "magic" is as well as what "majik", "majick", "magik", etc. are.

Majik, Majick, Magik, and all other odd spellings are not words! They are a means of "looking cool" (though I've never known how mispellings on purpose are a cool thing), and they're a means of accomplishing goal number one below.

So, why do we spell "magic" like "magick"? Well, we're often given a few different reasons:

1. Because we need to differentiate between stage magic and our type of real witchcraft

Now, is it just me or has no one ever had a problem with this...ever? If you do, is it simply impossible to clarify with "No, I take part in the religious practice of witchcraft"? A differentiated spelling isn't necessary. In addition, we have several homonyms in the English language (or even words that have complete different meanings depending on context), so why do we need to change this word to make it different?

2. Because Crowley told us to spell it that way

I know a lot of Wicca is based on the teachings from the Golden Dawn and Crowley's writings, but since when is he the end-all-be-all of Wiccan teachers? (The reason I say "Wiccan" is because it is mainly Neo-Wiccans that you find clinging to the differentiated spellings of "magic".) Just for reference, Gerald Gardner used "magic" in his works. So, why do some Neo-Wiccans ignore him and go straight to Crowley?

Let's examine why Crowley insisted on spelling it this way and see if it still makes sense. Shall we?

In addition to differentiating from stage magic, Crowley's reasoning was as follows (from Wicca for the Rest of Us -http://wicca.timerift.net/magic.shtml):

"Conversely, Crowley also gave reasons why he changed the word by adding a "K" such as the mystical significance of the number 6 (the number of letters in "magick") and 11 ("K" is the 11th letter of the alphabet). He also gave a distinct definition of what "magick" meant: "the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will". Will here is True Will - basically your higher and ultimate purpose in life. Hence, casting a spell to get Bobby to date you or a higher allowance would not be magick. So, when people use "magick" in this capacity, it makes sense. Interchanging it indiscriminately with magic, however, is silly."

I quite agree with the above. I don't use "magick" even in this context, but I would be willing to accept it used under these guidelines. However, as it said, not all magical workings would then qualify as "magick". In fact, "magick" would probably be quite advanced as it involves so much introspection.

3. Because "magick" was how it was once spelled

So? Do you spell everything in your life (or even your magical practice) how it was spelled in the days of yore? That must be quite exhausting and you must be quite the language scholar! I've never understood this reasoning. Sure, some people really do use Old English in ritual, but do they then keep running around speaking like that when referring to it? Probably not. I'llstand by their right to use it in ritual if it feels comfortable to them (though even as a trained Shakespearean actor, I find it sometimes troublesome), but that doesn't mean it has to transfer into every day life when discussing religion and religious practices.

So, the "k" can be used in some circumstances, but they are few and far between. Other than that, why do you guys think the magical community (particularly the Neo-Wiccan community) is sticking with this "k"? Do you use the "k"? If so, why?

Rantings of a Disabled Witch

2010-11-06T22:00:00.000Z

I don't usually complain about being an individual with a disability, but I've noticed that the ratio of people in the Pagan community who are accepting and welcoming of it is shrinking further and further. I know that the majority of the things I deal with are because the abled population receives little education about how to deal with people with disabilities and/or have little to no interaction with the various types of disabilities, but the issue remains.

I have albinism, a genetic condition that causes my body to not produce melanin. Having no pigment in my hair, skin, and eyes is not the extent of my condition, though. Albinism also causes visual impairment that ranges from a slight impairment to being considered legally blind. I am legally blind. I travel independently without a cane or guide dog, but I use other aids like magnifiers, telescopes, etc.

How does my disability affect me in the Pagan community?

Many group Sabbat rituals in my area take place around a bonfire. This is common practice, right? Let's take into account that I have no means to block out light from entering my eye. That's what the iris is for, and my iris has no pigment. So, when I'm standing around a bonfire during the darkest part of the night, I can't see anything. If the ground is uneven, I end up falling and messing up a dance or the flow of ritual in addition to hurting myself. It's also very difficult to read anything that might be asked of me to say. I've made it a habit of asking if a ritual will be around a bonfire at night. If it is, I decline theinvitation.

Even if there's no bonfire, if the night is dark enough and there are only a few candles, it's still difficult for me to see. If you hand me a paper with a handwritten script on it or one printed off in 10 point font, someone else will have to read it in my place. I almost set ritual text on fire at a Samhain rite one year because I was the only earth sign that could call the northern quarter.

The above really goes for any ritual where there's a script. 10 point font is not accessible. 14 or 16 is much better, especially in a font like arial.

Transportation. This is my issue more than those organizing events. But if it's at all possible, try to have events on or near a bus line if your group doesn't carpool. I'll often take a cab to the first few events. Then, if I like a group, I might try to carpool with people. Not all groups do this. If you're really after members that are dedicated, urge your regular members to carpool.

Rituals in the afternoon and Pagan festivals are extremely difficult for me. I've been told I wasn't a "true Pagan" because I don't attend Pagan festivals in the summer. I'm sorry if I don't want skin cancer, but I can just feel the blisters after spending a week in the sun. I'd have to bring 50 bottles of SPF 85 just to survive. On top of that, we'd be back to the bonfire issue at some point or another at the festival. Eventually I'll tough it out and go, but it definitely won't be every year.

So, why did I post all this? Part of it is a rant about how difficult it is, I'm not going to lie. I try not to complain (and I know I don't have it that hard), but it does happen every now and then. I posted it mainly for those organizing events or who might attend events with a person with a disability to consider how they might alter the setup to better accommodate them. Obviously this just covered visual impairment and albinism, but also consider if your location is or could be wheelchair accessible, if you're equipped to handle a person with a developmental disability, and what other accommodations you can reasonably provide should the situation arise.

Examining Your Beliefs

2010-11-06T22:00:00.000Z

It's always an interesting step when a practitioner takes what they've read from books and really examines it. It's one thing to read all the Wicca 101 books in the world and agree with them, but it's another thing entirely to examine *why* you agree with them, read them critically, and toss out what you disagree with. In examining this religion and its relation to you as a practitioner, you learn more about yourself and where you fit into said religion.

For example, you can read all the correspondence charts in the world, but do you know why red is equated with passion and love? Do you know why it stirs up these emotions in you? Have you examined the other colors in regards to passion and love?

Do you even know why we use colors and other aids (i.e. crystals, herbs, etc.) in spells? Is it merely a psychological effect? What role does psychology play in your practice of and belief in religion? Is magic merely an elaborate placebo effect to you?

What about the Gods? Are they all the same with different faces given to them by humans as a means to understand them? Are they all separate and distinct? Are they really not divine but parts of the human psyche? Are we divine?

How are we all connected? Are we all connected in any way? Is what we know to be true in this universe the same outside it? What happens after we die? What is karma?

The questions are endless. Religion is a means of answering questions, right? So, at some point in our practice we have to face the tough questions. You know the ones; those that make our brains hurt and make us feel insignificant. Take a look at the psychology of religion and myth. Like everything, it will challenge what you believe and make you think. It will also help a lot of ideas presented as fact in Wicca 101 books to make sense. A great book that addresses a lot of these ideas in a Wiccan context is The Witches' Bible by Janet and Stewart Farrar. I'm not quite finished with it yet because it's taking me so long to get through each chapter. I keep putting down the book and going "Hm..." The chapter on Myth and Ritual was one I found particularly engaging.

I'm not sure if I had a point to this post. Mainly it's that you have to examine your beliefs. Without examining the *why* of things, what's the point in claiming to believe it? That's blind faith. How can you really know what you truly believe if you haven't examined anything?

And thus ends my randomness for today. (Gosh my blogs are getting less and less organized and pointed!)

The Solitary Wiccan Pledge

2010-11-06T22:00:00.000Z

Did some people just stop and say "What? Aislynn posted something for solitary Wiccans?" If you did, calm down. This is for solitary practitioners who have based their practices on Wicca as well as those working in groups.

You're probably familiar with the Wiccan Pledge. Well, after thinking about it for a while during the course of writing our group Samhain ritual, Braeden and I couldn't figure out how to start it. The first person doesn't have anyone to pledge them in. It seemed odd. So, he and I wrote a version of the Wiccan Pledge (which we think is unique since we couldn't find anything in books or online like it) for solitaries/the person in the ritual that starts the Wiccan Pledge. We wanted to share it in case others wanted to use it in its entirety or as inspiration for writing their own since there isn't anything else like it to our knowledge.

If you're not familiar with the original Pledge, here it is:

Person 1: (1 holds the athame to the throat/chest of 2.) Thou who standeth on the threshold of the world of man and the hidden world of magic, hast thou the courage to continue?

Person 2 responds appropriately.

Person 1: For I say verily, it is better to rush upon this blade (and perish) than to continue with fear in your heart. What are the passwords?

Person 2: Perfect love and perfect trust (or "Perfect love and perfect harmony" depending upon the group and preferences). (1 kisses 2 or otherwise seals the Pledge.)

Here's our solitary version which uses modern language due to our preference for such:

(Hold athame to throat or chest.) Here I stand on the threshold of the world of man and the veiled world of magic beyond. Each time I search within myself for the courage to continue. Even as I ask that question, I hear the answer echoed back in my heart, in my mind, in my spirit...Yes...For I say truthfully, it is better to rush upon this blade than to proceed with fear in my heart. As I enter, my oath to the Gods is my Will: Perfect Love and Perfect Trust. (Kiss athame.)

How to "Come Out of the Broom Closet"

2010-11-06T21:47:35.000Z

There seem to be many people wondering if there are any tips to make coming out easier or on how to know if you're ready to come out to anyone at all. Indeed there are. My experience of coming out of all sorts of closets has imbued me with wisdom which I hope can help some of you.

1. Consider how long you've been studying. Has it been long enough that you're sure this is the path for you or has this become a very large part of your life that you feel compelled to share with your loved ones? If it's not a huge part of your life, there might not be a reason for them to know. Spirituality is very personal, and many might not see the reason for sharing it. Consider why you want them to know.

2. Make sure you have amassed QUITE A BIT of information so that you'll be able to accurately answer any of the questions they might have. You'll get some random ones too, I'd bet. I know I have when coming out of the broom closet.

3. Find a time when you're not in public, when you parents/friends are in relatively good moods and not distracted, and when you can all sit down face-to-face and talk, but don't try to do it at a family function or time allotted for something else (like Thanksgiving or someone's birthday). Oh, and a safety tip--don't come out in a moving vehicle.

4. Deal with any stereotypes or misinformation they might have toward Pagans fairly soon, but don't turn it into a "Pagans aren't this and this" or "Pagans don't believe..." discussion. They'll figure out what you are by your description not by your denials.

5. Make sure you're ready emotionally, financially, etc. There is a chance that something major might happen, like them disowning you. Can you handle that psychologically? Do you have a place to go/can you afford your bills if this happens?

6. Make sure you're in the right emotional state. Don't do this in anger, as revenge, or as a means to get attention.

7. Offer to help them through this if they appear to be taking it somewhat badly. Offer them books and other resources specifically for parents or relatives of Wiccans/Pagans/witches. There are several. You could also offer to discuss the basics with them more or do a ritual they could observe or take part in (depending on their comfort level).

8. If they do take it badly, respect their feelings and your own. Don't be afraid to walk away if you get upset. Explain that you need time alone to think or cool down and walk away before you say something that could make things worse (like bashing their religion or something). Also don't be unwilling to give them that same right. Don't push your case when they're clearly unreceptive. This goes for more than the coming out process. You might alienate them if you push it and push it when they are clear that it's not something they approve of.

9. Remember they might be surprised or fearful for you. People in this state often say things they don't mean as a jerk reaction. Don't get overly hurt by these. It also might be a case of ignorance of what they're saying; they might not realize it's hurtful.

10. Don't plan to do anything else shortly afterwards. It will take as long as it will take; don't rush it by saying "Mom, Dad, I'm a witch, and I know we're uber conservative Catholics and all that in this house, but deal with it. I have to go see a movie with Susie now. Bye!"

11. And, even if they don't kick you out, have an escape plan ready for the night, some cash, a place to go, etc. You might both need some extra space.

12. If you need to talk to someone, have someone handy, even if it's a complete stranger (like me).

13. Realize this might not be the only time you come out to them. Sometimes it doesn't take the first time, and you'll have to repeat the process.

14. Coming out will not solve all your problems. It might not relieve any weight of feeling like you're hiding something or make you feel better, improve your spiritual connection, etc. Have realistic expectations.

15. They might think it's a phase, so be ready for that. They also might suggest counseling. This might help if it's family counseling and the counselor isn't overtly of another religion. Consider it.

16. Don't expect them to keep it a secret from others. They'll need to talk to people too, and some people tell others about it in shock. I know my mother was guilty of this one. After she called every family friend I'd ever been in contact with, she had a bit of a breakdown at a family gathering for Christmas while offering me some potatoes, shouting "You don't need any of our Christmas food! You're Pagan. I almost forgot!" so that every one of my extended relatives heard.

17. Be honest about the religion, your beliefs, etc. You won't do them any favors by lying to them about it, and they might lose trust in you if they find out you were dishonest.

18. Consider your work situation. Even if you're planning just to come out to a few people, what might happen if your boss "accidentally" found out? (See #16.) On this note, consider anyone you haven't already told. What might happen if Aunty Muriel finds out? What about Grandpa Steve? Are you going to be cut out of wills, publicly humiliated, etc.?

19. Think about how "out" you're going to be after this. Yes, you'll technically be "out" after telling your loved ones, but are you going to attend public events that could land you on the news? Are you going to host circles at a home you share with other non-Pagans? Are you going to discuss religious topics with non-Pagans? Are you going to have a permanent altar or shrine up in your living space that others might see? This might influence when, where, how, why and to whom you come out.

I hope all goes well for you, and (as I said) if you need to talk, I'm here.

Spell Failure

2010-11-06T21:30:00.000Z

I just read a few articles and watched some videos on spells that don't "work", commonly called "failed spells". I have a problem with both these labels.

Definitions aside, both have negative connotations. If someone called you a "failure", would you see the upside and say "Hey, but I've learned from my mistakes and shortcomings!"? Probably not. You'd be offended, seeing the mistakes in yourself as the world must see them. It's the same with a spell. By terming it a "failure", we think back to what we did to make it so.

It's slightly different when someone says a spell didn't "work". I don't like this because, even if it didn't have the intended effects, it did some work. Chances are it taught you something, right? But we'll return to that in a bit.

So, why do I believe spells don't "fail"? This goes back to my view of magic. Whatever energy we put out in the universe WILL have effects. They might not be the effects we wanted, and there are several reasons for that:

1. Our goal in wording our spell (or in visualization of our intent during the performance of the spell) wasn't clear

2. The other parts of our Self (Younger and Higher) might know something we (the Middle Self) don't. They might redirect the energy (or put it on hold) to do us a favor. If our Selves aren't working together properly, it means our true Will isn't known to us, so we can't be sure any spell we do is in accordance with our Will (big "W" means I'm referring to the "Will" Crowley discussed, not "I want it, so I will it to be so" as in the case of that cute boy in homeroom we want to notice us). In this case, the energy put forth in the spell is sent off in another direction to bring us what we need rather than what we want at that time. After all, magic is "the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will". If our "Will" isn't known to our Middle Self, our Younger and Higher Selves, that know what our Will is, take the matter into their own hands.

Do those outcomes mean we did something "wrong"? It depends on your definition of "wrong". I choose to see them as learning opportunities rather than chances to point the finger of blame or guilt back at ourselves. You might learn that you need to work on the unity of the whole Self and discovering your true Will or you might see an opportunity to work more on visualization and wording of spells. So, we can see the spell "worked" in helping you to realize areas that need improvement. How can we say the spell didn't "work" then? It might not have worked in the way we wanted, dreamed about, and planned for, but it did some work for us and toward our spiritual progression.

Now, let's look at the definition of "failure":

"An event that does not accomplish its intended purpose"

Well, this is certainly true of the spell in question. However, I'm still on the side of "failure" having a bad connotation to most people. So, I'll still maintain the spell didn't "fail".

Why else might we think spells don't work?

Time!

Many people do a spell, wait a week, and jump to the conclusion that because $1000 hasn't jumped into their lap after their prosperity spell that it didn't work. A week is nothing in the general scheme of things. Sure, some spells work incredibly fast, but others take years for the energy to work its purpose. Sometimes this is because of one of the reasons above (mainly the Younger/Higher dilemma because they know you're not ready to handle winning the lottery at 23 or what have you), and sometimes it just takes time to allow the opportunity to arise. For another example, if you did a spell to find your "soul mate", and they live in Africa and you live in the US, it might take a while for you two to run into each other.

Effort!

We cannot forget effort in here either. It's a biggie to consider when spells "don't work". How much time did you spendworking on the spell? An hour? How much energy was raised? How much effort did you put in post-spell? Did you spend five minutes copying a spell out of a book to lose weight, raise a teensy bit of energy, send it out, and go back to eating twinkies and cheetos on the couch all day? Forgetting the fact that you put no effort into the spell itself (as I've done too much on writing your own spells and rituals in the past), you forgot the most important part of magic--follow-through! You cannot expect someone to knock on your door and offer you a job if you never sent out resumes, never network, etc. Magic doesn't work that way. It follows the easiest course of action (but that's another discussion completely). Magic is an aid, not the end-all-be-all of your journey toward whatever it is you did the spell in order to obtain.

Another reason people usually cite for spells not working is fate or destiny. As someone who doesn't believe many things are preordained in this life, I, frankly, find this difficult to wrap my head around. I encountered a witch who believed everything was preordained once. I still can't figure out why one would do magic if the outcome was set in stone. Maybe that's just my hatred of the thought that everything in life is already planned out.

That said, I do believe a few things are preordained (usually by our souls before incarnation). I don't, however, think they are set in stone. So, if a spell just never comes to fruition, I might, on my deathbed, chalk it up to fate or what have you. I probably wouldn't jump to that conclusion after a few weeks or even a few years (although, I suppose I guess it depends on the spell; if I were doing a spell to protect my family from a hurricane that didn't do its job, I can understand this conclusion).

So, with effort, time, follow-through, solid foundation, and in accordance with true Will, spells do work. They might not work in the way we expect, though. I'll use an oldie but a goodie--if you do a prosperity spell, the money might come from a deceased loved one. You got your money, but it probably (hopefully) wasn't in the way you wanted it to come to you. Again, magic follows the path of least resistance. That might have been the easiest way to get it (it's especially easier than the lottery example--think of how many people are sending out energy into the universe to win that thing!), especially if you aren't doing anything to get it yourself!

Remember, it might take time and it might be tricky, but magic works!

Your Personal Element

2010-11-06T21:30:00.000Z

I was actually going to do a video about this for my channel, but the inspiration struck now when I am unable to do so. Hence the blog entry.

I've seen a lot of posts here and elsewhere about finding your own, personal, element and how important it is. From the sheer amount of them, a newcomer could reasonably reach the conclusion that if they don't know the element that calls to them based on their personality or their date of birth, they are missing something important. What my problem with this conclusion is that it's never explained WHY this is so important.

Finding one's personal element is a process that can take a while and can be done through introspective exercises, gathering others' opinions, etc. or it can come easily. For example, I've known for years that, despite being an earth sign (Taurus), I am undeniably called to the element of air. My personality more closely resembles what the element represents. This didn't take a lot of introspection, but people who are more balanced might need more time. This actually means they're better off on the journey that follows finding your element.

Why do we find our elements? One reason is so that we can post in all those nifty discussions about what our element/animal is and sound all cool. Just kidding. A solid reason is so that we can understand our natural leanings toward one element over the others. Why are we drawn to it? What does that say about us? How does that affect our lives? How does it affect our spiritual practice? Etc. Once we understand what it means to be called to our element, we can examine our relationships with the other elements. Why aren't we as drawn to fire as we are to air? What does that say about us? And so on.

Why is this process necessary? The simple answer is balance. We cannot hope to be balanced individuals if we leave it at "my element is air". The process that follows is imperative if we are to find balance within, and without balance within ourselves, how can we hope to work effectively in magic? How can we hope to grow as individuals?

Amber K's book True Magick has an interesting exercise on this matter that shed a lot of light on my own personality. While it's probably not the best out there, it can be helpful if you're brutally honest with yourself while taking it. So, from pages 120-125, The Elemental Star Exercise:

Directions:

-Answer each of the following questions with a "yes", "mostly", "no", or "usually not". For your first attempt, do not look for finesse; if a statement is more true than false, mark a "yes".

-Once you have finished one section of questions, add up those that received a "yes" or a "mostly" and calculate your number for that section only.

-It is possible to chart these scores for each section in the form of a star (hence the name of the exercise), but it is difficult to explain that via the internet. Buy the book for more information. For now, the scores will suffice to show you where you are lacking.

AIR - intellect, thought, and imagination

1. I am curious about life and everything.

2. I pursue ongoing, organized study (in any field).

3. I have a vivid imagination.

4. I have the ability to think logically.

5. I have the ability to organize information.

6. I can alter my consciousness at will.

7. I have the ability to focus and concentrate.

8. I can easily redirect my thoughts.

9. I can see different ways of "knowing".

10. I usually know where to find information.

FIRE - will, energy, and direction

1. My life goals are clear.

2. I am effective at achieving my goals.

3. I have a high energy level.

4. I understand will and how to direct it.

5. I exhibit focused passion in my interests.

6. I have strong assertiveness skills.

7. I maintain my chakras and energy body.

8. I am effective at raising power.

9. I am effective at directing power.

10. I am effective at grounding power.

WATER - emotion and intuition

1. I am in a loving and stable relationship.

2. I am in touch with my emotions.

3. I have a constructive relationship with shadow.

4. I am able to express love and affection.

5. I am able to receive love and affection.

6. I express negative emotions in appropriate ways.

7. I maintain healthy friendships.

8. I trust my intuition.

9. I have high self-esteem.

10. I control my own emotional state.

EARTH - health, wealth, and material possessions

1. I usually breathe clean air.

2. I usually drink pure water.

3. I usually eat healthful foods.

4. I usually get sufficient rest.

5. I usually do balanced exercise daily.

6. I usually work with my healer/doctor/dentist as appropriate.

7. My home is clean and attractive.

8. I have steady employment and sufficient income for my needs.

9. I have a balanced relationship with my possessions.

10. I spend time outdoors with nature.

SPIRIT - relationship with deity

1. I perform daily, personal, spiritual practice.

2. I have a spiritual support group available.

3. I have the ability to center.

4. I have an array of spiritual tools for coping with stress or crises.

5. I have a relationship with allies or guides.

6. I realize that God/dess is within me.

7. I regularly celebrate or worship.

8. I maintain a relationship with a particular aspect of Deity.

9. I explore and respect other religions.

10. I experience peace and joy.

As I said, it's not the end all be all of tests of this sort. There are some things I don't agree with (like a few of the Spirit and Earth questions), but we won't go into that now. It's a tool to help guide you in the right direction to see how balanced you are and to help you realize what you need to work on. Try doing some of the things you answered "no" or "rarely" to. If you're lacking in earth, spend time in nature. If you're lacking in spirit, spend extra time in meditation or prayer. If you're lacking in air, spend some time with a creative outlet (i.e. dance, writing, drama, music, etc). If you're lacking in fire, spend some time on something you're passionate about. Do some extra work with the elements that give you trouble.

Balance is key in Wicca and in any path toward spiritual growth. That balance won't be easy to attain, but with focused effort, you'll be well on your way.

Using Essential Oils

2010-11-06T21:30:00.000Z

Once again, I've seen some misguided advice on how to use oils around the internet. So, here I am, attempting to remedy it.

Note: Before using any oil, make sure to check my other blog post "Essential Oil Warnings" to check for potential side effects, safety tips, and drug interactions: http://realpagan.net/profiles/blogs/essential-oil-warnings

How to use essential oils:

1. To diffuse oils, use one of the following methods:

-Put several drops of the oil or blend of choice in a oil potpourri burner with about a tablespoon of distilled water.

-Put a few drops of the oil or blend of choice in a ceramic light bulb oil burner with a bit of distilled water. Note: Only use these burners with regular light bulbs, NOT the energy efficient ones.

-Put about a dropper full of oil (about 10 drops) in the floor of the shower with the drain closed and allow the steam to diffuse the oil for you.

2. To take an aromatherapy bath: Mix about 20 drops of oil with some sea salt and allow to sit for about 24 hours. This will make enough bath salts for one bath. Note: If you are using the oils for an actual purpose (i.e. not just to smell good but for relaxation, to cure an ailment, etc.) don't just put the oil in the bath. It will not come in enough contact with enough skin to make any difference whatsoever.

3. To make an aromatherapy candle: Buy a candle that has a low melting point parafin wax and light it. Allow it to melt down a bit, until a pool of melted wax appears. BLOW OUT THE CANDLE! This is important as EOs are extremely flammable! Add a few drops of oil to the pool and light the candle again.

4. Anointing Oils: Dilute oil if it will come in contact with the skin and apply to anything in need of anointing.

5. Room spray: Add about 15 or more drops of oil to a spray bottle of distilled water. Shake regularly and use until gone. This will only last a few weeks.

6. Inhalation: Add a few drops to a cotton swab or cotton ball, put in a ziploc bag for a while and carry with you for inhalation as needed. Oil bottle necklaces work well for those on the go with a larger need for inhalation.

7. Skin absorption: Apply oil blends or diluted oil to pulse points (i.e. wrists, back of the neck, behind the ears, temples, etc.) or to the soles of the feet (the soft part of the arch) for quite absorption into the blood stream. Some ailments will do better with direct application to the wound/ailment itself. PM me with questions or post below, if you have them.

Essential Oil Warnings

2010-11-06T21:30:00.000Z

There is a lot of bad advice going around about using essential oils on this site and elsewhere online. This is probably based on a misunderstanding of how oils work, and I will attempt to remedy that in this post. The following precautions can be used if using oils to make soaps, bath salts, etc., anointing oils that will come in contact with skin, and actualaromatherapy blends.

1. Just because essential oils are natural doesn't mean they are safe! There are many ways that using essential oils can go very wrong. So, read carefully before using any oil all the precautions and possible adverse affects that go along with that oil. While there aren't as many as prescription drugs, there are still important things for you to know before working with any oil topically.

2. Do not use oils on animals. Dogs will process the oils about the same as a human, so most blends are ok, but consult your vet first. No oils should ever be used on cats or other animals.

3. Unless you are working with lavender or tea tree oil, dilute your oils for contact with skin. Most oils will be fine with a fairly weak dilution, but hot oils (cinnamon especially) must be diluted about 75% to be safe. Some will cause mild irritation, others will cause burns.

4. Be careful to never use too much of one oil topically. Peppermint and lavender are notorious for causing blinding headaches after an oil overdose.

5. Most blends you'll find are proportioned for adults and should be severely weakened for children. Some will say specifically the weight of the person they're intended for. If not, assume it's for a 150 lbs. adult. Weaken accordingly.

6. Never use oils topically if you're pregnant. Ginger is the ONLY oil that is regarded as safe through inhalation for pregnant women. DO NOT use oils in any way if you are breast feeding.

7. If buying a pre-made, pre-diluted blend, make sure you know the carrier oil if you have nut or other allergies. Some people still use almond oil.

8. If buying EOs, make sure they are pure, undiluted. Otherwise you cannot know the proportions of the blend to make your own or adjust for people of varying weights.

9. Added by Sherry: When burning EOs in a candle burner, dilute the oil in water; a couple of drops of oil to a 1/3c. water is what my burner uses. Also burning some oils can cause lung and upper respiratory problems (i.e. burning eyes, nose, and coughing and irritation of mucus membranes.

10. When using an oil for anointing, dilute it also either with water or carrier oil. You never know when you will develop an allergy or become sensitive to something. You can use an ingredient one day and become sensitive or allergic to it the next.

11. If accidentally swallowed, DO NOT induce vomiting - drink at least 1 pint of water, seek medical advice. Show bottle and amount.

11. Sea salts, fat, or alcohol can function as emulsifiers. Vodka, witch hazel, aloe vera gel, cornstarch, and vinegar can also be used. Sea salts are especially good for bath products. Add oils to the salts first and let sit. Then, add salts to bath. Whole milk can also be used as an emulsifier (not skim, it's the FAT that is needed for the oil to mix with). Fractionated sweet almond oil is a good emulsifier.

Those are the overall warnings I have. Now onto the most common oils and their precautions:

-Peppermint: will counteract many homeopathic treatments, too much will cause a blinding headache

-Rosemary: do not use large amounts topically if you have high blood pressure, do not use if you have liver problems

-Eucalyptus: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Ginger: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Thyme: should not be used with leukemia, mucous membrane irritant (dilute when burning or diffusing)

-Black Pepper: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Ylang Ylang: use caution if you have low blood pressure, large doses can cause nausea and headaches

-Geranium/Rose Geranium: can cause insomnia if used too late in the day

-Clary Sage: DO NOT drink with this oil. It will cause vivid nightmares and increase the effects of the alcohol, can be contradicted with some antipsychotic medications

-Jasmine: safe in accordance with above precautions (Although one precaution is that jasmine is an expensive oil; if you find it for $7, it's not real.)

-Sandalwood: can cause allergic reactions

-Patchouli: safe in accordance with above precautions (This scent will linger on clothing even after washing, though, and many people dislike it.)

-Cypress: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Bergamot: photo sensitizer, can cause irritation in baths if you use more than 6 drops

-Lemon: photo sensitizer, can cause irritation in baths if you use more than 6 drops

-Orange: photo sensitizer, can cause irritation in baths if you use more than 6 drops

Grapefruit: photo sensitizer, can cause irritation in baths if you use more than 6 drops

-Lavender: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Rose: safe in accordance with above precautions (One precaution is that Rose is an extremely expensive EO. If you find it for $7, it's definitely not real. If you find an absolute for $7, it's still not real. Look for it to cost at least $40 for an absolute. Rose EO is about $1000.)

-Roman Chamomile: use caution when using topically if you have low blood pressure

-Marjoram: use caution when using large amounts topically if you have low blood pressure

-Clove Bud: safe in accordance with above precautions, mucous membrane irritant (dilute when burning or diffusing)

-Eucalyptus: not for use with children or infants unless heavily diluted, safe in accordance with above precautions

-Tea Tree: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Cinnamon: should not be used if receiving anticoagulent therapy, not fur use with children

-Oregano: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Ravensara: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Spikenard: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Juniper: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Lemongrass: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Fragonia: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Cedar: possible contradiction with sedative medication like phenobarbitol, use caution when using on children: dilute heavily

-Vetiver: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Myrrh: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Frankincense: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Wintergreen: keep away from children

-Palmarosa: safe in accordance with above precautions

-Basil: can make skin tingle in a bath, safe in accordance with above precautions

-Amber: safe in accordance with above precautions

If anyone has any need of further assistance, feel free to ask.

For more information on aromatherapy, see my other post on how to use EOs: http://realpagan.net/profiles/blogs/using-essential-oils

Aislynn's Posts - RealPagan- Paganism for the Real World

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What Might Be My Last Plea For Help

I Understand Her

I'm Going Insane!

Magic, the will, and the suspension of disbelief

Just FYI

True Women's Spirituality: Dianic Wicca and Goddess Worship

Using "Wicca" and "Pagan"

Recommended Reading List

Fun with Acronyms and Grammar

Magic and the Story of the Troublesome "K"

Rantings of a Disabled Witch

Examining Your Beliefs

The Solitary Wiccan Pledge

How to "Come Out of the Broom Closet"

Spell Failure

Your Personal Element

Using Essential Oils

Essential Oil Warnings