Holy Crap, I'm old.

Alright, please don't mock me as the west coast folks did after the east coast earthquake that completely freaked me out. I know most of the people in this group have me beat in the age department but I'm reacting badly to my upcoming birthday and I guess I just want reassurance that I'm not the only person to experience this.

This past week I have noticed a few physical changes that held me stuck to the mirror more than ever before. I'm not pretty or vain so a quick run through to make sure I don't have flour in my hair is usually good enough. I smoked for 22 or 23 yrs prior to quitting so it wasn't a big surprise to see new lines around my mouth but the same week I angrily yanked no less than 5 gray hairs from my head. I've been dying it crazy colors since I was twelve but my recent illness left bleach out of the question so I'm basically seeing my hair as it was given to me for the first time in decades. Gray doesn't seem to be the only "new" thing going on there. Whether due to aging or the previous illness, my hair seems dull and lifeless.

Calling my new wrinkles around the eyes, smile lines or laugh lines is only making me feel worse.

We had library day at the homeschool group yesterday and twice I found myself feeling used up. The first came at the end of the lecture while the kids were snacking and playing. The host played an old School House Rock video about solar energy. I leaned into a young mom that I tend to sit near at these things, and said "Hey look. It's interplanet Janet." She responded, "Wow you must be older than I thought." Gee thanks for reminding me.

After snacks, the kids built solar ovens. Perfectionism plus helping children with crafts led me outside to relax for a minute. I turned on the radio in the car and the DJ was wonderful enough to let me know that the "oldie" they were about to play is from the album Slippery When Wet which is celebrating it's 25 year anniversary. 25 YEARS!!! The face to steering wheel and highly audible sigh was not for dramatic effect.

Lastly, it might ruffle some feathers, but I find myself getting upset, giggly, or condescending when comments I once made myself come from the mouths of young adults. "I'm mature for my age" or "wisdom doesn't come from time" or my all time favorite "I don't want kids, I want to have a life."

Is this a normal thing that will pass or is this the first step before I start yelling at kids to get off my lawn?

I don't have to tell most of you how much I value your insight. Feel free to tell me to get over it.