Holy Crap, I'm old.
Alright, please don't mock me as the west coast folks did after the east coast earthquake that completely freaked me out. I know most of the people in this group have me beat in the age department but I'm reacting badly to my upcoming birthday and I guess I just want reassurance that I'm not the only person to experience this.
This past week I have noticed a few physical changes that held me stuck to the mirror more than ever before. I'm not pretty or vain so a quick run through to make sure I don't have flour in my hair is usually good enough. I smoked for 22 or 23 yrs prior to quitting so it wasn't a big surprise to see new lines around my mouth but the same week I angrily yanked no less than 5 gray hairs from my head. I've been dying it crazy colors since I was twelve but my recent illness left bleach out of the question so I'm basically seeing my hair as it was given to me for the first time in decades. Gray doesn't seem to be the only "new" thing going on there. Whether due to aging or the previous illness, my hair seems dull and lifeless.
Calling my new wrinkles around the eyes, smile lines or laugh lines is only making me feel worse.
We had library day at the homeschool group yesterday and twice I found myself feeling used up. The first came at the end of the lecture while the kids were snacking and playing. The host played an old School House Rock video about solar energy. I leaned into a young mom that I tend to sit near at these things, and said "Hey look. It's interplanet Janet." She responded, "Wow you must be older than I thought." Gee thanks for reminding me.
After snacks, the kids built solar ovens. Perfectionism plus helping children with crafts led me outside to relax for a minute. I turned on the radio in the car and the DJ was wonderful enough to let me know that the "oldie" they were about to play is from the album Slippery When Wet which is celebrating it's 25 year anniversary. 25 YEARS!!! The face to steering wheel and highly audible sigh was not for dramatic effect.
Lastly, it might ruffle some feathers, but I find myself getting upset, giggly, or condescending when comments I once made myself come from the mouths of young adults. "I'm mature for my age" or "wisdom doesn't come from time" or my all time favorite "I don't want kids, I want to have a life."
Is this a normal thing that will pass or is this the first step before I start yelling at kids to get off my lawn?
I don't have to tell most of you how much I value your insight. Feel free to tell me to get over it.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rowann on -
Honey, I go through this on a daily basis...My full time "day-job" has me working with kids ranging from 15- college age. My boss is about four years my junior and is "suddenly understanding" my inability to get up and go in a millisecond or less. Lightning-speed just isn't in my vocabulary any more...neither is perpetual energy. OMG, and I find that my perpetual grumpiness just seems to metastasize on a daily basis.
This gettin' old thing sucks sometimes, but I still find myself trying to find the silver lining in it all...after I find my husband's (who's status has been upgraded to "Saint" for dealing with my crap on a daily basis--I just refuse to tell him about it--lol) reading glasses--placing them over my own specs, no less.... ;)
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Permalink Reply by Kim Klink on -
Lol! I know that it many repects, I don't like or really fully grasp the fact that I'm getting older! While im younger than some here, I actually like the peace and wisdom that comes with being more mature. After all by all rights at 44, I am a mom to 6 children (2 grown) and 2 grandsons with another coming in March! There are definately days I am less inclined to deal with the drama that other younger parents feel necessary to involve themselves in! I continue to color my hair, as I have for years even though my reason now is to cover the gray! With my younger kids 2 teenage girls and boys 11 and 9, I sometimes feel like I don't have the energy that I had when the older ones were that age, and sometimes I feel guilty about it! But as with any transition on life, I will try my best to use what I have learned and still stay young and open enogh to grasp the reality that is inevitable :D
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Permalink Reply by Mairwen on -
My youngest child turned 21 back in April. I have problems with depression anyway, but this just threw me for a loop. I was down for two months. I cried the other day when I realized I was a freshman in high school 29 years ago. My 25th year reunion was this summer - I didn't go due to health issues. I had a hysterectomy in August, so I'm experiencing surgical menopause, and I'm all over the map. boingy boingy boingy.
As far as I can tell, you and I are both normal.
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Permalink Reply by MoonCrone on -
(((Hugs))) for all those feeling the sting of passing time.
What I see you've all written is exactly how it's been for me too, absolutely all of it, so I would say it's all perfectly normal.
Smoking and (early) hysterectomy bring with them their own issues, not being a smoker myself, I have managed to escape that particular part of the downturn, but I did undergo hysterectomy in 1992, aged 32, so the surgical menopause hit me shortly after that.
The problems I had were that the relentless waves of hot flushes (which I refer to as "power surges" coz it made me feel better about them) hit me thick and fast, I did feel a small sense of loss for my womanly qualities.. and my emotions ran away with me for a while, I could have made crying an Olympic sport for which I would have won Gold for England, but the therapy I was given access to helped a lot.
My skin got thinner and I started to bruise and graze easily, my allergies all seemed to get a lot worse, I have to watch what I wash everything in and double rinse it or I get rashes.. my finger nails grew soft, so I had to start using hardening varnish or they would just split and break leaving my fingers sore, my teeth started to crumble so I suddenly had to start going for lots of extra dental treatments, and my hair started to thin, go grey, and recede from the sides of my forehead, so I now have to buy expensive really good shampoos and use a proper "Denman" hairbrush instead of any old cheap metal ones..
The worse part for me is that my weight gain has been constant despite my best efforts to keep it down, but a great part of that is because I have a spinal injury leading to mobility issues so it's difficult to tell if it's that or the surgery, I don't know.
The good side was no more monthlies (which were absolutely awful for me after damage caused in childbirth due to complications of labour - which is why I had the surgery) or no more worries of unwanted pregnancies, (my Hubby's family has genetic problems, so another child with difficulties after the 2 we had already, and the several miscarriages it caused me before we found out what was happening just would have been too much to cope with) no more cervical smear tests to endure, or no more worry of cervical cancer. It's all been a huge weight off my mind I have to say.
There's one difference, I think, to how we cope or don't, I believe it's if we embrace our changes or hate them. I have never been one to worry too much about how I look, as long as I'm clean and tidy, it'll do. I've never been a load of make-up, fake tan, hair do with spray kind of girl, I've never even dyed my hair, (too lazy to cope with roots growing through) although I will admit to having had a few highlights put in as a teenager simply coz everyone was doing it (*blush*)... I even had the shaggy perm everyone was going in for in 1982 .. (still can't believe I really did that!!!) but I soon let it grow out again, it just wasn't me to stand in front of the mirror every morning teasing the curls out into an acceptable "do" with an afro comb..
What I do now is to have a good skin care regime, I drink plenty of water, and eat a balanced diet with plenty of healthy stuff, I cleanse and gently exfoliate with very natural products, and moisturize with simple aqueous cream, adding a high factor sun screen in the summer, or chap stick on my lips for the winter, I have a special gel for my eye area as the skin around them gets very puffy, and a serum for my neck area because I don't want it getting too scraggy.. the massaging it in (along with the jaw exercises I do) helps prevent my chin from becoming "double". I wouldn't say I'm fighting the aging process, but I would say I'm taking better care of myself. I am enjoying getting old, it fetches with it a standard of living with far less worry and pressure, I understand and totally get the phraze "Golden Years" now, because for me, that's what they have become, but life is what we make it.. I'm making what future I have left as happy for myself as possible, filling my time with hobbies I didn't used to have time for, and making up a bit of a "bucket list" and trying to tick some of them off and all that sort of thing. Yep, for me, being a Crone is starting to be more fun than being youthful.. It's all about making the best of what we have xx
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Permalink Reply by Mairwen on
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I had two days of severe hot flashes and then two days of severe cold chills, but I'd been having perimenopausal symptoms for at least five years. I'll be 9 weeks post-op on Monday morning; my belly is still fairly tender, especially if I move wrong or try to do too much. This surgery was a blessing for me. I'd been begging for it for a long time; I knew I needed it. When I finally got the green light back in the spring, I thanked every god I knew and many I didn't. I'm a lot less all over the map than I was. My surgeon agreed with me that I don't need (and don't want) HRT, so that's a good thing.
Hope this finds everyone well and happy!
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