This is a hard one to write, not because of the subject matter, but because I'm insanely blessed not to have a lot of needs. Coming up with three has been a challenge.
Health-wise, I'm doing awesome. I've technically dropped all the pregnancy weight, but when I got pregnant, I was a bit pudgy, so I'm trying to go below that. For the past three weeks, I've been stalled on the scale, however it looks like that's because I'm putting on muscle weight. So really, heath-wise, I'm in the best condition I've been in a long time and have no needs there.
Relationship-wise, I've got an awesome husband who is also a great daddy to our little girl. The only "need" there is that he's got to go out of town for a couple days next month, and I hate the idea of him having to get on an airplane. Still, I know that he'll carry our tradition's safe travel charm, and he'll be back in one piece. All I have to worry about is two days of a grumpy kid who will miss her daddy and not understand why he's not around for a day and a half.
Finances-wise, I had set a goal for how much I wanted to make this year, and I'm already above where I should be for the year. We've also got a thirteen-year plan in play, and we're making huge leaps on that. For the next couple months, paying what I want to pay down on things means that we don't have as much extra money as we could, but even so, the excess spending cash that we've got is more than some people's monthly incomes, so no complaints there.
With all that out of the way, needs....
Spiritual Challenges: Long-term, we know that we'll be leaving the coven where we're at. If nothing more, in 13 years or less, we're leaving the area, so there is a drop-dead date. There's a lot of challenges with a new hive (as some people on here can relate), and so there's a lot of complications within the group dynamic that I'm not going to discuss on a public board. But I guess what I need at this point is some sort of idea of where to go from here. Do we stick it out until we leave, but in a reduced capacity? Do we pack it in earlier than our move? Is there anything we can do or say to improve the issues that are going on that we haven't already done or said? And regardless of whether we do or don't leave early, should we be more active in the local community at large? I've also got that book about our personal practices in the works. At present, we're thinking of going self-publish only, however would there be benefit to us and our lifestyle to go with a mainstream publisher?
Motivation: More than 3/4 of the time, I'm motivated for everything that I'm working on. Every so often, that motivation takes a hiatus for a day or two. Assuming I should do something about those motivation-deprived days (and I don't know for sure that I should do something), what should I do to pump up the motivation mojo?
Foresight: I'll be the first to admit it, although I do awesome readings for other people, I'm terrible about reading for myself (see motivation...*grin*). Is there a way to set a "life alarm system" so-to-speak to trigger something such that I can be aware if there's a bump in the road ahead, or if there's an opportunity coming up that I should pounce on? So far those things just seem to fall in my lap, but I do feel I should be more proactive on that going forward, especially if I get distracted by the bigger fish I have to fry in terms of the thirteen year plan.
So yeah, not quite normal "needs", I suppose....but that's pretty much where I'm at for right now. Life is good (or technically flippin' awesome). I don't see that changing. I'm doing the pruning I need to do, and just need a bit of watering and fertilizing to keep it going.
An excellent perspective. :) Let's look at these cards of yours today, shall we? :)
Past: The Hermit. Ah, the soul-searching Hermit, tucked away from society. The teacher who is aloof. So, the Hermit speaks to a sense of being set aside from, cloistered even.
Present: Two of Swords, Inverse. This card in its Inverse position represents confidence and self-assuredness, of being well-centered and balanced.
Future: Three of Pentacles. And this card, which lies in the future position, foretells grief, quarrels and a breaking with others.
See where this is going? It sounds like you've gotten the benefit out of the cloistered coven experience that is intended - it has acted as the cave of the Hermit for you, leading you into where you are in your Craft (and self, on some level) today. A perfectly capable person and witch.
With the break that you're talking about, however, comes The Drama. The coven has served as an egg in which you've gestated and strengthened, but it sounds like it's not happy about the moment where you break free. Sadly, I don't think there is anything you can do about this, truthfully - it's all on other people.
So, with that in mind, I think you've got some decisions to make. You could hang in there til it's time to go, but then those hurts and whatnot will be long-distance, and difficult to adjust and manage as such. Of course, it'll also make the rough spots easier to deal with.
On the other hand, if you make the break earlier, you'll have the aggravation of dealing with other peoples' bruised egos while living in the same area as them, but you'll also have the time and availability to do that mending up front while you're still here, allowing your move to be unmarred by all that.
So, obviously, this is about the Spiritual Challenges aspect of things. :) Based on this information, you'll probably have some decisions to make. Of course, there are things that can be done to aid you, one way or the other, with these decisions, including a Cut & Clear work to make that separation go smoothly, accompanied with a bit of sweetening work to help assuage hurt feelings and lighten relationships if you want to go that way.
As far as the other two issues, I don't have much spiritual help, but do have some ideas. For Motivation, it might simply be that those are your practical limits. Not that you can't push past those when necessary, but doing so, as with all such systems, adds stress. I'd say that's okay, really. If you're working on a project that really calls for that push, I'd go with a combination of either Van Van and High John Work, or Road Opener and High John Work. Those should help you push through when you need to, but there is merit in listening to your own system's requirements above and beyond any outside obligations.
As far as the second, I actually set calendar alarms for myself to remind me to do a personal reading once a season or so. :) Helps keep me focused in that regard, truth be told.
For the foresight... Maybe you could make a regular reading coincide with a monthly event - like the New Moon, or the last day of the month, or anything that occurs regularly. You could even make it part of a ritual that occurs monthly, so this way you'd be sure never to miss it.
There's the daily card, too, of course, but that's very very short foresight at best, so I'm not sure it would fill in that need...
I hope that can help. Before I got messed up, I'd do a spread every New Moon, with one card of each part of the next moon cycle. It really worked well. :)
Thanks for the feedback. Our big challenge when we do readings is that they usually say "keep doing what you're doing" and then provide very clear pictures of that which we already know in the future. On the one hand, it's great to have confirmation that we're doing what we're supposed to be doing and that we've got everything in our sights. On the other hand, there's this nagging feeling of whether or not we're missing something.
It got to a point a few years ago that I was worried at times that I had died or was in a coma, because everything in life worked exactly the way I wanted or expected. I still get nervous from time to time that things are too perfect, but I try to avoid thinking about it too much.
Thanks again for the feedback!
Good to go for the moment... on item 1, had a good discussion, so will be seeing how things play out "shortly". For item 2, my hypomania has clicked in, so life is gooooood. (My hypomania doesn't come with mood swings...it's the "evolutionary advanced" kind, or so I've been told. Woot!) For item 3, because I'm in a hypomania state, I have no care in the world about concerns in the future...I'm just obsessed with doing things to move towards it without any care in the world.
So yep, good to go!
My pleasure, darlin'. :) Is this sufficient for the nonce, or is there something else we should look to? Just let me know, one way or the other.
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