[Basic needs] Charlie's Needs

I've been mulling over what to post here for a few weeks, but after recent ups and downs I figured I'd go ahead. 

The past two semesters have been taxing. I'm preparing to graduate with my bachelor's next year; all the subsequent anxiety has me lost, unmoored, and nervous. 

Spiritual Growth: I'm wanting to progress with my spiritual work. I have a lot of enthusiasm, but my recent anxiety is keeping me from progressing. I don't clearly see the path forward and I'm not sure where to go or what to do from here. People come to me for readings and advice pretty frequently, but I'm "stuck". I need help with personal mastery and patience. I've been flirting with the idea of a crossroads ritual lately, to begin spiritual advancement. 

Relationships: My love-life and relationships are far from orthodox. I'm in a deeply committed relationship and will be marrying shortly after college; we're both happily engaged and travelling to Europe this summer. Sounds too good to be true? It's actually not. But we are in a pretty open relationship, and various friends and lovers come in and out of our lives. We have a tendency to absorb other people's problems (we're both very empathic). I need help with balance, moderation, and dealing with all these energies correctly and unselfishly. 

Responsibility: I glided through high school and I've more or less done the same thing with college. I've never been one of those people who really needed to study very much. I like to procrastinate and wait until the last minute, I rarely give school or work "my all". I consider myself decently intelligent, friendly, and attractive -- but I want to live up to more of my potential. I just need some kind of instruction and a kick out of the door. This is especially related to my career; I don't know what to do! I've decided to postpone grad school and work for a year. I'm currently a kitchen worker in a small monastery.

Feels good just putting some of that stuff into writing. Thanks for reading. 

Charlie