RealPagan- Paganism for the Real World

First I'd like to start out by acknowleding my blessings... I have a wonderful BF for three years now who is very supportive and kind. I'm now living in an area that I've wanted to live in for years. I recently got a job and although it may not be ideal it is bringing in "some" moola.

That being said here are the things I need help with the most:

1. Releasing hurtful past experiences- I grew up in an emotionally (sometimes physically) abusive household. Because of that I know I have a lot of self sabotaging behaviors as result. When your parental unit curses you at least every other day and tells u that u aren't worth anything it's bound to leave a mark. I think if I was able to make my peace with my past I would be a much happier person and have that self confidence I need to help me with the next need...

2. Motivation and follow through- I have plenty of ideas and things I want to do on a soul level, but when it comes time for action I have a tendency to put things off. I struggle with irrational fears and the fear of failure. This in turn gets me depressed about wasting my potential. I'm pretty sure a lot of this is connected with my past. So If I could make a breakthrough there it would probably help my motivation to.

3. Funds for dreams- I would like to be able to have enough money to be able to pursue some things I've always wanted to do ... for example pottery classes etc. Right now we are barely scraping by. I know there are a bunch of people on this boat with me lol! Being able to do something like take a class would really help my confidence and depression though so I'm hoping I'm not just being greedy!

Thanks for taking the time to read this lovely people =)! I will accept any advice with a open and grateful heart <3!
~*Bless You*~

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Blessings, Charlet, and thanks for contributing. :) I shall pull some cards on your behalf later on today. Just wanted to stop in, thank you for sharing, and touch base. :)



Thanks so much =) I really appreciate it!

Oakthorne said:

Blessings, Charlet, and thanks for contributing. :) I shall pull some cards on your behalf later on today. Just wanted to stop in, thank you for sharing, and touch base. :)



Deepest apologies, hun. It's been a little busy around here. Let's look and see what the cards have to say about these difficulties, shall we?


Past: Ten of Pentacles. Alright. Now, this is the card associated with both tradition and financial solidity. Was your family relatively well off (at least by your current standards)? I'm seeing that at the very least, they had some strong ideas about what was "proper" and what wasn't, and you probably didn't fit into those. It's probably the main excuse they used for their nastiness toward you.

Present: Strength, Inverse. This card is about Weakness. But it is a card also associated with Rage, Suppressed Urges, Pride and Discord. This isn't about being genuinely incapable, but of just not giving a damn, because you're angry and hurt, and it's a means of getting back at those who hurt you.

Future: Two of Swords. This card is about conflicting ideas, with the concept of compromise and Diplomacy at its core. This is the card of the ambassador and mediator.


So. I'm going to guess that your family was probably a bit more financially solvent than you are now (Past card). Now, that's not a big deal, but here's the thing: are you subconsciously refusing to "live up to their standards" and embracing a way of life that is more poverty-stricken as a means of striking out at them? You're going to need to examine this VERY carefully, and with a very serious sense of self-examination.


Let's be honest - I'm not even saying that you don't deserve to be angry. You clearly do. But it does you no good to shove away with both hands all the things you associate with your family just to spite them. There are good things that have come out of your family, and you need to learn to embrace those.


Now, your Future card speaks of reconciliation and mediation. Are you estranged from your family right now, or from important, central members of your family? If you choose, you can interpret this card to mean that you simply need to reconcile yourself with those things that represent your family, but I'm a bit of a literalist - these cards are talking about the need to be reconciled with your family.


HOWEVER, you need to do so in a way that does not give away your personal power. You are an adult now, and you must learn to interact with your parents and family as an adult, not as a child who just happens to be grown. This is going to mean different things to different people, but for a start this means not allowing them to say terrible things to you any longer if they want a relationship with you. It means standing up for yourself, not the way a child does (with big fights and tear-filled scenes), but as an adult, where you get to dictate the ways in which people interact with you, telling them that if they cannot treat you with simple human respect, they are choosing to have nothing to do with you.


It's time. You've known it's coming for a while, but this whole anger at your family has got to be resolved. Honey, according to this reading, you're being poor AT them, and that's ridiculous.


Do give this a read-through, let me know where I'm off-base, and we'll move forward from here, yes?

I must apologize to for replying so late! First off thanks so much for your reading it has given me a lot to think about.

My family wasn't very well off. My dad did build a house that I lived in for a few years but it was kind of deceptively rich looking. With mortgage/loans and everything else it was never really his and it was always a struggle for him to maintain it up until he lost it.

Strong ideas about being proper and not fitting in definitely ring a bell. My family raised me to be a extreme fundamental christian and well you see how that turned out ;) lol! My mom, older brother, and little sister haven't talked to me in three years... right around the time I officially let it be known that I was not following their religion (although I hadn't really been living that life for quite some time). My Dad still wants to talk to me but because he was the main source of abuse back then it is hard for me.

I hadn't really thought that subconsciously denying myself prosperity might be linked to hurt my family before. That is one of the main things I've been thinking about. Do I fear success because I think my family will consider themselves right?... if I'm successful then they'll think they raised me perfectly?

I'm not sure how a reconciliation would go at this point since I'm not cutting my family off from communication with me... it's their religious beliefs that dictate not speaking to me (and they don't even know I'm pagan lol)

At this point I'm still trying to process all this so it well hopefully help me grow past and or see what i need to do. Thanks again for taking the time to do a reading!

<3 Charlet

Hey there, hun. Just thought I'd check in and see where you're at with stuff. From your last post, I'd possibly suggest doing a bit of Cut & Clear work around this topic, excising the baggage from your past dealings with your family while retaining what is good. I'll leave instructions for this Work below.


The list below mentions a "power symbol" or something along those lines. If you do decide that your prosperity issues may be tied in with them, may I suggest a lodestone? This is traditionally an "attracting" curio, used to draw love or money. Instead of High John oil, use a Prosperity Oil instead, to tie it all together. Then, when you're done, instead of putting it in a mojo bag, place it where it can "see" your front door, so that it can draw prosperity through the front door into your home.


Cut & Clear

It starts with a list. Take a sheet of paper, and fold it in half, with a sharp crease down the center of it (whatever orientation you prefer). On the left half of the page, make a list of all the good you got out of growing up with your family; on the right half of the page, list all the bad that's come of it.


Now here's the trick - make them even. That means that you're going to have to wrack your brain to make the shorter list the same length as the one that is longer. But do it, and use examples even if they seem petty or silly to you. It's truth time, here.


Then, for the actual Cut & Clear trick, you'll need: A black candle, a white candle, Cut & Clear* oil, Cut & Clear incense*, Cut & Clear powder**, a High John the Conquerer root or other symbol of spiritual/esoteric power, High John or Holy Oil, dish of salt & red pepper.

* This can be actual Cut & Clear products, or they can be Van Van. If you want to make something yourself, use a mixture of salt, lemon and eucalyptus. ** For the powder, you can actually use the juice of a lemon, instead.


Now, for the work. Lay down a line of powder or lemon juice in a straight line down the middle of your work-table. At the top end of it (away from you), set your incense out, and get it burning. At the bottom of the line, lay down your list so that the crease in the center of the paper lays along the line.


On the left side of the line - the side with your list of good things - place your white candle, dressed with High John or holy oil. Place it in the empty space between the list and the incense, but away from the line a little. To the left of your list, place your High John or other power-symbol.


On the right side of the line - the side with your list of bad things - place your black candle, dressed with Cut & Clear oil. Place it opposite the white candle, with the line of powder or lemon juice between them. To the right of your list, place the dish of salt and red pepper.


Now, read through the list of good traits. When you are done, light the white candle. Then, read through the list of bad traits, lighting the black candle when you are done. At this point, anoint your hands in Cut & Clear oil and take hold of both sides of the list.


As you do this, begin to chant "cut & clear". As this chant continues slowly rip the paper in half, right down the crease. When it has been torn in half, place the pieces of paper down on the table, roughly where they were, but with a firm line of separation (the line of powder/juice) between them. Clap your hands with finality and say "CUT & CLEAR!" loudly, and with finality as well.


Now, you have two sides of the Work. They are split, but must individually be dealt with.


Right Side of the Table

First, take out the trash: the right side of the table. Take up the bad list, and speak out against it, saying something like "I abjure and cast out all these things. I banish them, and will not abide them any more!"


Read each item on the list. After each item, say something like "Begone!" When you are finished, take a small pinch of red pepper and salt, and place it in the middle of the paper. Fold the paper around it into a packet, folding it AWAY from you with each fold. With each fold say something like "I banish you forever!". When you've folded it three, five or nine times, pick up the packet, and set it on fire with the black candle.


Drop it into the dish of salt to let it burn out, and when it has been burnt all the way out, til only ashes remain, mix the salt, pepper and ash into a single mess. Say, one last time: "BEGONE!" and then blow out the black candle with a very forceful breath. Allow yourself to sit for a moment and feel those things leaving your life forever.


Left Side of the Table

Now, it's time to deal with the other part. Pick up the list, and say something like "These things I claim as my due reward. These things will remain with me forevermore."


Read each item on the list. After each item, say something like "Be here!" When you are finished, anoint the list in a five-pattern (one dot in each corner, and then one in the center), and fold it three, five or nine times, folding TOWARDS you with each fold, saying something like "Remain with me forever".


Now, wave this folded list above the flame of the white candle, but DO NOT burn it. Say something like: "These things I desire, and these things I claim. Let them remain with me forever more." Now place the folded packet of paper under the High John or other symbol. Allow the white candle to burn itself all the way down.


Disposal & Use of Left-Over Materials

Dispose of the mess from the right side of the table at a crossroads, in a body of moving water, or in a fire. Keep a small handful of the salt/pepper/ash in your right hand, and as you turn away from disposing of it, throw that handful over your left shoulder and walk away without looking back.


Bundle up the stuff from the left side of the table, and bury it in your own yard. If you like, however, keep the list-packet (especially if you used a High John) and put those into a mojo bag for personal power (purple bag, add some rue and lavender, and feed with High John oil).



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