RealPagan- Paganism for the Real World

Over the last few days I have seen several people asking for some of the most ridiculous spells. One of these was a request for gender alteration. I do apologize but if you think you can wave a wand, say a few words and ta-da you have changed gender... You may well be certifiable, and might want to rethink your gender alteration before you wake up and realize that you made a few mistakes.

 Despite cries to the contrary, gender is first and foremost a state of mind. I am female. I would still be female were I to wake up tomorrow with a penis attached. I can't imagine the anguish of feeling, and knowing yourself to be one thing while the physical denies it. This does not apply to everything in life, let me assure you. Just because you know you are a werewolf and the physical denies it, does not mean you can relate back to this post and say I gave you irrefutable proof of such.

 Let me point out here and now, as I mentioned above, the physical does not dictate your gender. Were you to have a sex change operation and realize later it was not for you, you can't very well change your mind at the drop of a hat. Be sure it is indeed what you are looking for and perhaps try living in that gender role for some time before making a decision. I am talking months and years, not days and weeks. perhaps some of what I mention below would be good to start on before making that final step.

 While you can not cast a spell and change your gender in the blink of an eye, you can very well augment the change to the physical with some mental exercises.

 Meditation is a good start. I don't mean just thinking on, I mean meditating on the gender you wish to become.Meditate deeply. Feel the energies associated with it.

 If you are FTM indulge in some stereotypical masculine behaviors. They are stereotypical for a reason. This doesn't mean to do them makes you male, but doing them has more of a male association than female. Put on some heavy steel toes, some rugged jeans, an old wife beater and go blow something up! Or build a bookshelf, split some wood, work on a car... are you feeling it? Maybe throw in a beer straight from the can. Have a scotch on the rocks, or a snifter of Brandy. Maybe even smoke a cigar. When you're done, sit back and meditate on what you felt, separate what is feminine from what is masculine. As they say; It's not what you say but how you say it... well in this case it's not what you do but how you do it.


 If you are MTF then surround yourself with pretty things. Find a dress that you find attractive and wear it. Dance. Shop. Do your nails, and your hair. Put on some make up. Bake a cake. Try some ultra feminine craft like sewing or knitting. Add in a delicate glass of wine, or a dainty cup of tea. When you're done meditate on what you felt. Separate the masculine from the feminine. Breath in femininity and out masculinity.  Enjoy what you experience and over all, find you.

 For either gender. Have a session of meditation. Allow yourself to just float. Bask in who and what you are. Now, without leaving your wonderful floaty place, envision your body as you would have it. As they say, when you grow up you can be anything you want to be. So BE it. No, they didn''t mean gender-wise, but take it and run with it. Be that person you want to be. Feel it, breathe it and become. 

 I was a rough and tumble child. I was stuck smack dab between two brothers. Through association and my parents always talking about how much more they wanted boys rather than girls, yes, I had some gender ID issues.  I fist fought, climbed trees, built things, destroyed things did dumb stuff right alongside my brothers. I carved the name Ben into my bed along with my older brother carving his name in. In all the games we played I was Ben. I was sad that I wasn't this Ben, because being a girl just wasn't good enough.

 I am perfectly happy with being a girl now. I wouldn't  have it any other way. Yes I am still curious from time to time about what it would be like, who isn't?  I am happy that I found my niche in life. Your niche may be the same or similar, but be sure to find it before you make a final choice. Being who you are is (to me) the building blocks upon which your spirituality is built. 


 Who you are, inside, IS good enough. Always remember that gender is a two way street. It will not solve all your problems. It could make more problems for you. It's a balance of Yin and Yang, you must take the bad with the good. Through out it all you must be searching for one thing, Love of yourself. Remember to keep that as your path AND goal. The ends do not justify the means and the means do not justify the end. If you feel yourself losing who you are then go back to where you last remember seeing yourself. Meditate on these things daily. As you move forward along your journey, you may find things that are applicable to you that you wish to add. You may find that my advice is no longer applicable to your situation. I can not define the path for everyone, but merely set the basework and show you that yes, there is still a door here, just maybe not the door you were looking for.

Tags: Alteration, Feminine, Gender, Masculine, Meditation

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Turner, you accuse me of what you transgress in. I stated that I would walk away from Gard training before I would strand and disrespect people I care about. This was discussed with the HPs and HP of the training grove in advance of our being accepted. I do not speak as a Gard, for as you state, I am not yet a Gard. When I said that our student's partner would be better off in a Dianic coven, it was simply for the fact that she is much like Z Budapest in her thinking and does not choose to recognize the male aspect, neither in incarnate nor in deific form. Now you tell me, please, as a Gard (if the information is not oath bound)...is it possible to be a Gard and reject the God form?

Therefore, I was not speaking as a Gard or for the Gards, but rather only using common sense.

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Turner
you have misread Ari , We are not claiming Gard , we have been and will be training with a Gard Grove , when we sat down with the HPS and HP we exspressed that we would still be running the group we have as an "eclectic group". We are not running it as a Gard group as we are only seekers at this time. One of the students we have wanted to join the Gard Grove with us and interviewed and was accepted as well.

our Gard Training is separate than that of the ecclectic group we have, our HPS and HP understood and was accepting of us continuing to have our ecclectic group seeing how it is not going to be growing only dimishing when the other few we have find a new group. We understand that the Gard training is oath bound and would not dare to break that oath. but that does not mean we will abandon those that were there before we decided to become Gard.

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To clarify my point of view a bit more for Frater and Ma'ateo;

My personal viewpoint on the matter of male and female where it comes to spirit... My Grandmother, I have no idea what her actual religion is, once read us a story that outlined the world as being one entity and we are all just parts of it. I don't entirely agree with that assessment but it does give basis for what I do believe. When it comes so spirit without body I see us as being part of one whole. Existence if you will. Think of the borg, (I do apologize for throwing such geekdom into so serious a debate) a collective, no part has any assignment until they leave said collective to become a person of their own free will. I think this runs parallel to Ma'ateo's opinions.

As to DNA. No, I do not think you can change that. You will not be able to bear children through ovulation and conception if you are MTF, no, you won't have genetic sperm if you are FTM, I really don't know the entirety of the physical process, but there is only so much science can do. This is a worthwhile sacrifice for many people. The hormones in your body can be changed, you can begin to experience physical changes because of this. For some this is enough. Using the above mentioned processes to augment changes, well, I can see how some could be very happy. Not everyone puts stock in procreation, anyway.

These persons of free will share in the experience of the collective existence but the experience is so much richer when one hears,tastes, smells, sees, and feels it for themselves. Otherwise it's like a memory at best. Maybe like watching a movie, or reading a book. So yes, we leave existence to join into the world which is a PART of existence, but is APART from it. We experience life as a man or woman, we make mistakes, we learn, we move on.

There are a multitude of extenuating circumstances. One, a person may by mistake choose the wrong gender or as they live their life find that the gender doesn't suit them. Two, they may have been chosen for that gender role by the Almighty. I don't claim to know what brings us all into this world, I have merely guesses and musings.Perhaps someone didn't make a choice and was born with both sets of genitalia. Perhaps the opposite and they are born asexual. Again, I do not know all.

Hrm, I think I covered about everything, I started this some hours ago and came back later so may well have missed something, if I have, readdress the question and we'll pick it up there.

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I've also had some of these ridiculous things asked of me as well. Although being completely honest can feel harsh, it's definitely necessary to shake people of this "using magic to cause physical appearance changes" idea.

I simply told the person to talk to a psychiatrist about a sex change operation. What else can you do, really?

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Well Philip Heselton is a Atheist... and the point is Right Practice. Not Right Belief. I can believe anything I want to aslong as I practice the tradition as passed. 

Arimesis said:

Turner, you accuse me of what you transgress in. I stated that I would walk away from Gard training before I would strand and disrespect people I care about. This was discussed with the HPs and HP of the training grove in advance of our being accepted. I do not speak as a Gard, for as you state, I am not yet a Gard. When I said that our student's partner would be better off in a Dianic coven, it was simply for the fact that she is much like Z Budapest in her thinking and does not choose to recognize the male aspect, neither in incarnate nor in deific form. Now you tell me, please, as a Gard (if the information is not oath bound)...is it possible to be a Gard and reject the God form?

Therefore, I was not speaking as a Gard or for the Gards, but rather only using common sense.

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Turner Cain Said, "Well Philip Heselton is a Atheist... and the point is Right Practice. Not Right Belief. I can believe anything I want to aslong as I practice the tradition as passed."

 

I am sorry, I misunderstood before and now stand corrected: you state in this comment that BTW is not a religion. I have apparently been misled to this point by uninitiated people and government agencies that believe that it is a religion. I do have much to learn about this path.  

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I speak as an individual of the Gardnerian tradition on this, often individuals will associate a religious context to the form of the practice.  However the religious context that is associated with the practice is largely up to the individule and his own understanding.  Personally I would find the tradition without a religious association dry and meaningless, however that is not to say it cannot work based on the understanding of the individual.

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Agreed Adley, but I do find it disheartening to learn that it is no more to its adherents than golf is to insurance agents or country club membership is to the socially elite.

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I'm not sure what you mean by that or how you came to that conclusion.

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Where did I ever say that BTW was not a religion? 

Arimesis said:

Turner Cain Said, "Well Philip Heselton is a Atheist... and the point is Right Practice. Not Right Belief. I can believe anything I want to aslong as I practice the tradition as passed."

 

I am sorry, I misunderstood before and now stand corrected: you state in this comment that BTW is not a religion. I have apparently been misled to this point by uninitiated people and government agencies that believe that it is a religion. I do have much to learn about this path.  

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